Trying To Save This Blog!

So I do another pointless post.

Post

Salvage

OLD BLOG FILLED UP SO THIS IS A CONTINUATION

(Part #1 of blog: http://vergilxanon.blogspot.com/ )


OK, ideally the first priority of this thing is to get my book series read. Doesn't seem like too many are interested, but hey! For the few that are, it's a iconoclastic, socially subversive, occasionally funny, mostly but not quite completely bogus autobiography of moi. An iconoclastic, socially subversive, occasionally funny Irish Gate Keeper (psychopomp) that does not technically exist. Here are the links again, and I AM NON-PROFIT! WHAT DOES SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EXIST NEED WITH MONEY?!!!!

1) http://whatrevelationnevertoldyou.blogspot.com/?zx=21e520a24713f39b
(What Revelation Never Told You)



2) http://stefan665.blogspot.com/?zx=f37a7835da334a55
(Stefan)


3) http://lifewiththanatos.blogspot.com/?zx=80570e65ffb74429
(Life With Thanatos)


4) http://thewhitecity665.blogspot.com/?zx=40ba871fee47e204
(The White City)


5) http://thesecondtimearound665.blogspot.com/?zx=8d7c478fdeb39cf9
(The Second Time Around)


6) http://theakashiccastle.blogspot.com/?zx=1b8bb0834281957e
(The Akashic Castle)


7) http://vergilxanon2.blogspot.com/?zx=5658cd5d27bfe311
(Warren)


8) http://azrael665.blogspot.com/?zx=e0d9cdc94130554d
(Azrael)

9) http://vergilxanon22.blogspot.com/?zx=a889615fdccbf5f5
(Our Demented Poetry Collection)


10) http://uimidir1a.blogspot.com/?zx=2b3874608fe71ffd
(A Lot of Love, A Little Hate, A Little Philosophy, and A Few Questions)


11) http://uimidir1.blogspot.com/?zx=918cc8a92497e22a
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #1)


12) http://uimidir.blogspot.com/?zx=45b11f5b45d77563
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #2)


13) http://gatekeepersarchives3.blogspot.com/?zx=570f38cd16bf2f32
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #3)


14) http://thegatekeepersarchives4.blogspot.com/?zx=d280895b745d8095
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #4)


15) http://closure665.blogspot.com/
(Closure)










Illustrations: http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/Morgan665/

And if you read this, you might even LEARN SOMETHING!!!!!!!

Though I must admit, the main series is of so-so quality, but the poetry and the short stories are damn good.

Amazing What Bribery Will Do

A few days ago, I was attacked with a measuring tape. I didn't know what to make of it. Well, I found out today.

The bell rang. I went to get it, and was not quite run over by both my mentor and the mullethead, who did get to the door first. Courier. My mentor took the boxes, which were an armful, and Mullethead signed for them. My mentor said something about how nice service is when you include a hundred dollar money order with no name, and a note telling whoever receives this to get it out today.

The mullethead orders me to take a shower, stripe my face, and get my torc on, and don't bother dying the hair black. Good, because I DON'T HAVE ANY FECKIN' HAIR DYE, AND I HATE DOIN' IT! Anyway, I love my light red-blond hair.

Sounds good. I do it, and scrub down a little more thoroughly than usual. I dry off, blow dry the hair, and stripe my face like in my avatar picture. Two horizontal stripes across the cheek, one stripe slanting back under the horizontal stripes, a vertical stripe down the middle of my chin, and I suppose they wanted the omega on my forehead.

I stepped into the bedroom, and was handed a very nice new pair of black dress socks. I sat on the bed, and put them on. My mentor opens one of the larger boxes, and hands me a pair of gorgeous black boots like I've never seen before that just blew me out of the water. They were flat heeled, smooth black leather fringed boots with four leather tassels going down the outside, attached to conchos. Oh man, what a nice present.

Next, the mullethead opens one of the smaller boxes. She takes out a rather thick, intricately designed silver asp, and slips it on my left arm, over my biceps. She also moves behind me, giving me a few caresses that totally set me on fire.

My mentor opens the other smaller box, and from that he puts on my right wrist, a thin studded leather bracelet, then a thick, metal decorated, but unstudded leather bracelet, and one more medium studded leather bracelet that will get you kicked out of a shopping mall for being a potential weapon. He then took out a pair thin driving gloves, and only gave me the right one, which I put on. All the leather was black, of course.

They leave me sitting there for a few minutes with the mullethead wrapped around me, while I'm in the boots, torc, asp, makeshift gauntlet. I have no idea what I wanted more. To see what was in that fourth box, or to shag or get shagged.

I didn't have to wait too long for that fourth box to be opened. When I saw what it was, I about lost it, and ended up laughing so hard I forgot that I wanted to make out a few seconds go.

It was a caged harness, like in the last illustration that was given to me for my book series. The Incomplete Thanatos Project.

I suppose it was good that I got distracted so badly, because at least now I could get into the damn thing without any. . .shall we say, logistical problems?

After I was in full costume, of course I did check out my reflection with some self-admiration, not that I would permit that vision to go public, but hey! I wasn't at all unhappy with what I saw.

After a moment, my mentor kissed me on the temple, and told me I was probably the prettiest potential pornstar on the planet, and he walked out saying, "Let me have 'im after you're done," to the mullethead.

NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YA WHAT HAPPENED NEXT! IF YA WANT GRAPHICS, READ 'CLOSURE', BUT THAT'S THE LAST VOLUME OF THE SERIES, AND IT WOULD REALLY BE NICE IF YOU READ IT FROM BEGINNING TO END!!!!!

SHEESH!!!!!!!!

(And I repeat, what happened in closure did NOT happen in reality.)

We're Going To Be Hit With Nuclear Fallout In A Few Days

Is that cool, or what? I don't know what to say. It's Saturday, I've just gotten the best (and exhausting) lays of my entire existence, I'm probably going home a lot sooner than anticipated, and can existence get any better? Not that anyone is in a state of panic over what little fallout we will get, but hey!

Well, yes. All 15 volumes could already be up on The Guild, but oh well. Doesn't look like Volume #5 is going up this week either, but my publisher does have the whole series, and there are copies on disc floating around in a few places, so I'm happy. Oh, and the moon is going to hit an awesome perigee the day before the Equinox, comet Elenin is allegedly nice fly-by in three days, and I'm so ecstatic, I could just explode. And to top it off, there's those exquisite boots I got this morning.

If it weren't raining so hard, I'd go for a mad ride, but it is, so I won't. Maybe I'll go for short run. Just a couple of kilometres, and I'm not going to even bother to wipe the stripes off my face for it. I'll do that before the third shower of the day after I get home from the run. I am soooooooo amped, I just can't stand it. This means manic, and a little more than left of centre.

FECK IT! I'M HITTIN' THE ROAD IN SHORTS, SOCKS, AND RUNNIN' SHOES! IT'S ONLY A 7 MINUTE RUN, OR SO!!!!!!!!

Well, maybe 8; considering the weather.

Bodhisattva

A word to remember.

And one of us should stop the tests. The tests have subtly proved themselves that all shall work as planned. Let's NOT GET TOO FAR AHEAD OF OURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Escape From Los Diablos

Morris Alejandro. Sixteen. A pretty good, studious, but badly asthmatic kid in Los Angeles! Not a good combination. It also wasn’t a good idea to be in the wrong neighbourhood at the wrong time. Morris wasn’t a gang member, and he wasn’t to hip to the codes, colours or territories of the gangs. He was a good, academic kid.



He was a lightweight Spanish-Mexican teen. A good target for a lot of people on the shadier side of the tracks! On the way to the bakery, he got pulled into an alley, and found himself surrounded by five members of the Piru Street Boys. After being beat up to the point of unconsciousness, and being divested of his thirty dollars, he was thrown into a trash dumpster. He would not survive to the day of being picked up and thrown into the garbage truck. Hey! It happened every day. Several times a day, in fact! Every major city in the U.S.! Morris was just another statistic. The cops wouldn’t care. They had no idea of his background, and just from looking at what was left of him after he was discovered, they thought he was just another wetback they wouldn’t have to worry about. I really wanted to do this case.


“Can I help?” asked Stefan.



“Only if you don’t threaten to have him cooked,” I said.


“I think I can do that. You know I have a thing for Mexico.”



I crossed my arms. “Glad you got over your intense hatred for Spain. He’s a half-breed.”



“He looks all Mayan, though. I think I can manage. Should I go as a chick?”



“That’s a good idea, but he’s gonna be a hard one to deal with. To woo here! He’s got a strong sense of responsibility, and he’s gonna think it was his fault that all this happened, and he’s gonna feel like he’s gonna be in big trouble for losing the money his mother gave him. I don’t have a complete plan yet, and we’re going to have to do some quick thinking on our feet here and there.”



Stefan scowled. “I can identify. But getting him here is no problem. We’ve done stuff like this hundreds of times. Just walk home with him, let him lead the way, but the environment isn’t what it was as he remembered it. Change it little by little.”



“That was part of my plan, but be prepared for more than one panic attack. We’ll also set his mind at ease with his family, by giving him another thirty dollars for his mom. Of course, it will be nothing to us. We’ll take him to lunch before going home, and let me ask if Andre will play a role in this case to mitigate the undeserved resentment that would be geared toward blacks due to the attack by being in that restaurant.”



“Good idea.”



Of course, Andre would take the job.



*****



This kid had no clue as to who or what I was. We’d be going as Donn and Stephanie. At the moment of his transfer, I pulled Morris out of the dumpster with as much delicacy as I could, which really wasn’t much. I suppose I should have climbed into the dumpster and handed him to Stef, but I didn’t think of it until after I grabbed his arm, held his head up, yanked him over the side, then heaved him out, in part using his belt. He’d had a few bones broken when he was clobbered, but that was not transferred to this surreality. In the process of my pulling him out, he ‘woke up’, groaning.



Of course this dumpster wouldn’t have all the thrown away food and other such vile items in it. It would have a Hell of a lot more paper and cardboard, so my clothes and Morris’s clothes wouldn’t have disgusting debris all over them, like they would have, if this had been the actual location of the event.



Stephanie was dressed in a dressage-type outfit. She wore a white, frilly, silk shirt with cravat, tight fitting black breeches though without the leather backside, black tailed coat, and riding boots. No helmet or hat, though. She wore wire framed, aviator style mirrored shades. I was in freshly pressed bell bottom jeans, harnessed black boots, a black t-shirt that said ‘VIVA LA AZTLAN’ in silver, and a denim jacket that looked right off the rack.



As I sat Morris down against the building behind the dumpster, I asked, “¿Le dañan?” Oh, here I go again. “Are you injured?” in English. In reality, we spoke Spanish, but for the sake of my readers….



“Oh man, what happened?” asked Morris.



“Apparently someone threw you into the trash,” I said.



He looked at me, then at Stephanie, then back to me. “Your Spanish is pretty good.”



Stephanie stood on her right foot, bent her left knee to have her left foot behind her, flicked both wrists, and said, “We’re not your average gringos.”



Morris laughed. “I guess not. I was attacked by some black dudes! They must have thought I was MS-13, or something.”



Leave it to Stephanie. “If you’re Mara Salvatrucha, I must be Clarence Thomas.”



This time Morris laughed so hard, he went into a coughing fit. I put my hand on his back, closed my eyes, and healed the problem he had with his asthma before it had the chance to heal itself. He stopped coughing fast, and when he stood up, he had no problem breathing. Morris stood there panting, and breathing easier than he had in years. “What did you do to me?” he asked me.



I just shrugged. “Not much. Just put my hand on your back. Sorry for invading your space.”



“No. It’s OK. I mean; you just pulled me out of the trash bin. I’m Morris Alejandro.”



“Vergil Xanon. My girlfriend is Stephanie Shannon.”



Morris looked at Stephanie. He silently thanked me for clarifying Stef’s gender. He had thought Stephanie was a dude of male persuasion.
“Well, thanks. Both of you! I didn’t realise this part of town had gotten so bad.” He then pulled out his wallet. “Oh man, they ripped me off. I was supposed to get a birthday cake for my little cousin Julieta.”



“How much did you lose?” I asked.



“Thirty dollars.”



I pulled out a very packed wallet. “Chump change.” I made it obvious to Morris I had a lot, pulled out thirty dollars, and handed it to him.”



He didn’t take it. “I can’t take that?”



Stephanie scowled. “Why not?”



“I don’t even know you, and it would take me forever to pay you back.”



I cocked my head. “You wouldn’t have to pay us back. We have more than we need, and it’s no big deal. In fact, shall we all go to Mocajetes just down the street, and you tell us what happened?”



Mocajetes! It was a nice looking little place he’d been curious about, but he’d never been there. His parents didn’t take him out to eat much, and he himself never spent his allowance on eating out. But it was a place he wanted to go. He still hadn’t taken the money. “Why would you do that for me? I’m just some Mexican kid who got into a bit of trouble.”



Stephanie wrinkled her nose, and looked at me. “Why the Hell should his background matter?”



I shrugged. “No clue.” I looked at Morris. “Can you answer that?”



“Most whites around here don’t like Mexicans. You’re not from around here, though. Are you? Your accents are different.”



“No, we’re not from around here. We’re just here to see what it’s like, and we don’t like it. It’s dirty, crowded, and though we read about the crime, now we see it right in our face. Now will you please take the damn money before my arm gets tired holding it out in front of me, and let’s go to the restaurant!” I said with a bit of sternness. It was an order.



Morris took the money, and put it into his own wallet. “OK. But can you give me your address so I can pay it back?”



I flicked my wrist, and grimaced. “Not worth the international postage.”



Morris looked at the sky. “Actually, I wonder how long I’ve been out. Doesn’t look like much, but I don’t know about eating out, now. My parents did send me out to get that cake, and I’m still not back yet. They might be getting worried.”



“We’ll tell them what happened. I’m sure they’ll forgive you for being a little late. We can get the cake as soon as we’re done eating, and we’ll meet your parents, OK? Maybe you guys should think about moving out his area if you can afford it. It’s bad, and getting worse.”



“I don’t know if we can. Both mom and dad have jobs here, and it costs a lot to move. Mom’s a Spanish teacher, and dad’s a production manager for Zytron.”



“Understood,” I said, as I waved my hand toward the restaurant. “Come on. The faster we eat, the faster we can get you home.”



“OK,” said Morris.



*****



We had to walk two and a half blocks to get to Mocajetes. Our adopted Andre Courtois manned the front desk, and his wife Tonya acted as the cook. Of course they also spoke Spanish, and Morris was a bit stunned at Andre taking his order, but there was no hostility, or association with him being in any way related to Morris’s attackers.



Morris thought this place was great. It was a cozy little eatery with ten tables, and six of those tables were against the walls with covered booths, and we sat down in the booth furthest from the window. The place had quaint Mexican paintings all over the walls, and Morris felt right at home.



I had searched Morris’s mind, and suggested he order the Camarones de la Diabla. He loved it, but it was the most expensive item on the menu. He wouldn’t have taken the initiative to order it. The stuff made a supernova look cool. Well, not quite, but I still couldn’t handle food that spicy even if I did eat shrimp. I’ve come a long way from my initial Irish tastes and was comfortable with even medium spicy Thai food now, but the ultra hot was not something I’m sure I could ever handle. Both Stef and I had vegetarian fajitas, and all was served with the standard beans and rice. Of course crisps and salsa were served prior, and yes; the salsa had a spice level I could tolerate, and I found it delicious. To drink we had horchatas, and for desert we had cream horns. By the time we left, Morris was quite stuffed, and quite happy.



We started walking toward the bakery, for which we had to back track. “Morris is an uncommon name for Mexico,” said Stephanie.



Morris shrugged. “My mother’s from Spain, and she named me after an orange cat that was in TV commercials.”



“It’s a nice name. Just not what you look like.”



“I agree, but I like it,” said Morris. “Why did you guys learn Spanish?”



“I used to live in California,” said Stephanie. “As for Ireland, it is in Europe, and it helps to speak more than one language over there, or you are going to have problems.”



“You speak the Mexican way, not the Spanish way,” said Morris.



“It’s easier, and why not use what everyone else uses, here?” I asked. “It’s not like the two sides of the pond can’t understand each other.”



“True,” said Morris. “Can we write each other after we split up?”



“We’ll keep in touch,” I said.



“Donn, I haven’t had any trouble breathing since you touched me after my attack. Did you do something to me?”



I looked at Stephanie, and shrugged. I then looked at Morris. “My family line is heavy into shamanism and witchcraft. It goes back generations, and I’m pretty good at some things. I’m a fair healer. Hope you don’t mind.”



“And you do that healing thing for nothing?” Morris was shocked. “I mean you didn’t even tell me!”



“You know, there is something I don’t understand about most people. When you have what you need, why want more? We just do what needs to be done, depending on what situation presents itself.”



“Sounds like Juan Matus,” said Morris. “Thanks a lot, though. Is it permanent, or temporary?”



“Permanent,” I said.



“Cool.”



Stephanie noted. “So! You read Carlos Castaneda!!!!!!!!”



“Dad has his whole series, and I like to read. Yeah. Interesting philosophies, but I just couldn’t get into ‘Magical Passes’. I couldn’t even get past the second chapter.”



Stephanie chuckled. “I couldn’t remember anything I read from that. It made limited sense to me, and I didn’t finish it, either. Can’t remember how far I got, though.”



Morris looked at me. “Did you read it too?”



“Hell, yeah! It’s a cross culture theme, and like you said. It’s a good set of philosophies.”



“You guys are nice.” He stopped. “This is it. Maria’s Bakery! I’m getting a Black Forest cake.”



“Somebody’s got taste,” said Stephanie.



Sylvia would be manning this store. The cake was listed at eighteen dollars and fifty cents. She gave us two for the price of one. Morris carried one, and I carried the other. Now, we’d allegedly go back to Morris’s flat, though of course we’d never make it there.”



*****



“How do you like it here?” I asked Morris.



“In this city? I don’t. After what just happened, I like it even less. I’ve had to be careful every now and then, but I was never beat up before. Considering they knocked me out, I’m glad I don’t have a headache.”



“And you can see the air that you breath. I swear I’ve never seen smog so thick,” said Stephanie.



“Dirty, too. A lot of garbage, and all the alleys smell like piss. The air used to make it hard for me with my lungs, but I guess that’s OK now. Thanks again, Donn. You have no idea what you did for me.”



“No problem. I might as well have just scratched the top of my own head, for all the effort it took. I’m good.”



“Can’t argue,” said Morris. “Is there anyway I can repay you?”



I sighed. “Dude, it was UNCONDITIONAL! I don’t do things with strings attached. Is that OK with you?”



“It’s not how most of the world works. I try to do things like that, though.”



“Well, you’re not the only one, OK?” I asked.



“OK.”



After we walked two blocks, things would start changing from what Morris remembered the city to be.



*****



Morris was looking down at the sidewalk, telling us about himself. He spoke of his past, his ambitions, his likes, his complaints, and everything else. We already knew it all, but we couldn’t tell him that…yet. The buildings were going away, the air was getting cleaner; there were more trees on the sidewalks, and bigger lawns in front of the buildings that were left.



Morris looked up. “Where is this?”



“Huh?” I asked.



“This isn’t right.” He pointed to the street sign ahead. “I have to look at that.” He ran ahead kind of slow, since he was carrying the cake.



Both Stef and I ran after him. I also had to be careful not to jostle the cake that I was holding. “Something wrong?” I asked.



Morris was panicked. “That’s the right street name, but that’s not my street. Where’re all the apartments and store fronts?” He looked down the street from where he came from. “That’s not right. That’s not what I came down!”



“You live on this street?” I asked.



“I live on a street with this name in a kind of nice four-storey apartment, on the top floor. The street only has apartments and stores with apartments or offices over them. What’s going on?” He looked to where we came from. “WHAAAAAAAAAAA…!”



“Morris! Calm down!” I said.



“Calm down? How can I? Where am I? This isn’t Los Angeles!” He was starting to hyperventilate.



I handed the cake I was holding to Stephanie, and put my index finger in front of my lips. “Shhhhhhhh. Everything is all right.” I put my other hand on his right shoulder. “Everything is as it should be. We won’t let anything bad further happen to you.”



He looked into my eyes. “I don’t know why, but I know you’re telling the truth.”



“I am. I’d have nothing to gain by lying.”



“I’m dreaming, then, right? I’m still unconscious in the dumpster, and I’m having a lucid dream, or a Carlos Castaneda moment, right?” asked a slightly less agitated Morris.



I smiled. “Works for me. That, or your Assemblage Point was shifted in the trauma of your attack. Let’s just go to your address.”



He nodded, and we did. It was halfway down the block. “This is it. Nice house, but this is not where I live.”



I motioned him forward with my index finger, and pointed to the two-storey stucco house with a large porch that had Greco-Roman columns. “Come on! Let’s see.”



“I don’t live here. I don’t like going on other people’s property,”



I started walking down the long path to the house that was set pretty far back from the street. “I’ll take full responsibility. Come on.”



Stephanie and Morris followed. When we got to the front door, Morris asked, “Now what?”



I said, “You have the key. I guess you unlock the front door and decide whether or not you want to invite us in.”



“But it’s not my house. I don’t live in a house.”



“Just try it,” I said.



He handed me the cake, and checked his pockets. He pulled his keys out, and put the key to the front door of his flat in the keyhole. It unlocked the door nicely. “What the Hell?” Then he just stood there.



“Aren’t you going to open it?” I asked.



“I don’t live here!!!!!!”



“It’s a dream, remember? A Carlos Castaneda moment?!” I said.



He shrugged, and opened the door. The furniture was identical to how it was in his flat. It was even laid out the same. He kind of screamed. I’m glad I was holding the cake. He would have dropped it.



Stephanie said, “Morris, come on! Let’s put one cake in the refrigerator, and have a piece of the other if you still have room after that lunch we had. That might make you feel better, and we can talk about this.”



“Stephanie, I feel like I’m in a horror movie!” exclaimed Morris.



“There will be no monsters in any closets. I’m sick of carrying this thing. Let’s go,” said Stephanie.



We went in, with Morris in the lead. “Mom? Dad?”



No answer.



“Doesn’t seem like there’s anyone here,” I said.



“But they were all here before. It’s Saturday. They don’t work. And my little sister, Angela isn’t here. She’s twelve. We were also getting read for the birthday party tomorrow.”



“Well, let’s unload these cakes,” I said.



Morris led us to the kitchen, and both me and Stef put the cakes on the table. Morris put one in the refrigerator, and the other on the counter. He got out three plates, and cut three pieces for us, giving each of us a sixth of the cake. He looked in the refrigerator. “We have Coke, and 7-Up.”



Yucky-poo! “With Black Forest cake? That’s sacrilege. Got tea?” I asked.



“Should have,” said Morris. “We usually drink Earl Grey.”



“Perfect,” I said.



Morris filled the teakettle with water, put in on the stove, turned the stove on, got three cups down, and found the Bigelow Earl Grey, which we did consider second rate, but I could fix that, and I did. “Sugar and half-and-half?” asked Morris.



Oh, man! Half-and-half? YE GODS!!!!!!! “No sugar, but we’ll take the half-and-half,” which was now cream. “We only put sugar or honey in chi tea. This stuff has a good flavour without a sweetener. Have you ever tried it like that?”



“No, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. I wonder where everybody went, but then again I wonder even more why I’m in a house that’s set up and furnished like our apartment.” He put the container he thought contained half-and-half on the table. He was going to be in for a pleasant surprise.



“No clue,” I said. “What if you did shift into another dimension?”



Morris scowled. “And you are a self-admitted brujo (witch)! Are you a ‘nagual’, like Juan Matus, and are you going to adopt me and teach me all these things?”



I GOT ‘IM!!!!!!!!!! I tilted my head, and smiled. This suddenly became very easy. “If I could, would you like that?”



“That would be cooler than cool! It also sounds too far out to be reality, but considering all I see now, I guess I could believe it might be possible.”



The teakettle went off. “Great. Let’s have that cake and tea, first,” I said.



He looked at me wide-eyed. “So you are a nagual?”



“I don’t call myself that. I’m of something you never heard of. The Tuatha de Danaan. Close enough, though.”



Morris poured the water into our cups, and sat down. When he creamed his tea, he scowled. “The half-and-half looks thicker than usual. I hope it didn’t go bad.” He sniffed it. “Doesn’t seem like it.”



“I’m sure it’s fine,” I said.



Morris looked at me, and I winked at him. He understood, gave me a thumbs-up, and had a bite of his cake. “Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this for real????????”



I had a bite of mine. “It is pretty good,” I said.



“Damn good,” chimed in Stephanie.



Morris chuckled. “I know I’m still pretty full, but it is an extra cake. Can we eat the whole thing?”


I shrugged. “Don’t see why not.”



Morris had a sip of his tea. “This is good, too. More like it’s cream, than half-and-half. The bergamot flavour is a lot stronger than usual, and it smells stronger, too.” He tilted his head. “Is that your fault, Donn?”



“Probably.”



“Thanks. Stephanie, are you the same as Donn?”



She pointed at Morris. “Actually, I’m more like you. More like Carlos than Juan, you know?”



“I think so. I also think I’m beginning to like this adventure. Maybe I can write a book about it?” asked Morris.



“Feel free,” I said. “I already have a fifteen volume set written, but there’s always room for more.”



“Man, I am so glad you two came by when you did.”



“So am I. After we polish off this cake, let’s go out back,” I said.



“You know, I didn’t even think to look out the back window?” asked Morris. “Do you know what the back yard looks like?”



“Judging from the front, I imagine it’s a well landscaped garden,” I said.



“I wonder if we have a pool?”



“I wouldn’t anticipate anything,” I said. “But we will find out, provided we can still walk after this desert on top of the huge meal we just had.”



Morris laughed.



Stef and I helped clean up after we finished.



*****



Morris was stunned, when we stepped out back. “Where’s the end of this thing?”



“Let’s follow the path, and find out,” I said.



He looked up. “The sky! I’ve never seen it so blue. We’re not in L.A. anymore, are we?”



“Probably not,” I said.



Morris looked at me with a smirk. “But of course you do know where we are.”



“I could give you a name, but it wouldn’t mean anything to you just yet.”



“So you can tell me?”



I shrugged. “Sure. Tech Duinn.”



“Never heard of it,” said Morris.



“I already told you that, but shall we go?” I asked.



“Oh, YEAH!” said Morris. “I’ve never SEEN anything like this. The colours, the smells, and it’s all so pretty.” He looked over a bunch of tulips. “The flowers are all so perfect.” He pointed ahead. “What’s that…is that a castle?”



“Looks like it to me,” said Stephanie.



I chuckled. “Yes. It is.”



“It looks so new, but so old,” said Morris.



“It is,” I said.



“New or old?”



I just had to say it. “Yes.”



Morris crossed his arms before him. “A sorcerer’s riddle?”



I ruffled his hair. “We’re not trapped in time anymore. Go on. You set the pace, and you can dawdle as much as you want, considering we’ve got forever.”



“Thanks.”



*****



Morris was fascinated with all the gazebos of my garden, which is of course, where we were. We paused at all the fountains, the statues we passed, the little bridges over the little streams, and the multi-coloured torches tripped him out. “This must be Hell o’ expensive to maintain. And you say these torches never go out? How can this be done? My family isn’t that rich.”



“Remember this isn’t the world from which you came from,” I said.



“I like this one better. I don’t even know if I want to go back to the other one,” I said.



Damn, this guy was easy. “Your decision.”



“Actually, that’s just something I said. I love my mom and dad, and little sister. I guess I’d have to really sit down and think hard about it, but this place is so much better than L.A..”



“You do that,” I said.



“Can I stay here, and look at this at night? It must be awesome, with all those torches.”



“It is,” I said. “It’s even more awesome when the night is foggy.”



“I bet,” said Morris.



“I’ll see if it can be arranged after we get to the castle,” I said.



“Can you make it foggy?”



“I must admit weather control isn’t my thing. I have to work on that, but my other best friend can.”



“Neat,” Morris said as we got to the little bridge over the moat, just before the small tunnel to one of the back entrances. “What is this place?”



“Basically a historical museum. It has rooms dedicated to the cultures of the world, most of them not being around any more. There’re also living spaces, and the first room on the left is a whirlpool spa, but let’s not look at that now. We’d get wet from the steam. You can do that alone, later if you like,” I said.



“I don’t have a swim suit with me.”



“We can get you one, or you can go alone,” I said. We passed the door to the spa, and pointed at it. “This is it. We’ll check it out later.”



“OK,” said Morris.



“Normally we treat our guests to a feast here, but considering all we ate, I suppose we’ll skip it, or do it later. We’re vegetarian, but we won’t hold you to that. Also, we’re headed to the main living room. If you see any rooms you want to check out, go for it,” I said.



“All right. Thanks.”



And we ended up looking at every room we passed.



*****



Before we got to the room of the perpetual burning fireplace, I signalled Hesper, and basically requested he get over there, and lay on the couch via picture thoughts. The stallion complied. I also manifested a copy of my book in one volume on the coffee table.



“This place is yours?” asked Morris of me as the three of us walked down the halls. Stephanie more or less stayed out of this conversation. After all, this kid was my case.



“Yes. In fact, I more or less built it.”



Morris scowled. “You don’t look very old, for having done that.”



I smiled. “I’m older than I look. The Tuatha don’t age past what they want. I stopped at four and twenty.”



“So how old are you?”



I winked at him. “I’ll let you read about it. I think you’ll get a kick out of my autobiography.”



“I think I will, too. You’ve got some neat pictures up in the halls. I like that red headed warrior lady. Is she real? ”



“They’re all real, and they live here. That lady’s Macha. You can meet her later. She was kind of my first girlfriend, sort of. It didn’t work out in the conventional sense, but we are still friends.”



“Who’s the white guy with the glowing eyes that looks so much like you?” asked Morris.



Hm. He knew about Thanatos. “He goes as Keith.”



“Kayth? Never heard of that.”



“K-e-i-t-h. We pronounce it ‘Kayth’ in Ireland. We prefer that pronunciation, so we didn’t Americanise it.”



“Why is he painted with neon eyes?” asked Morris



“They’re actually like that. Artificial. Cosmetic. He can see just fine, and he can see in the dark. Same with his horse.”



“You all have horses?”



“They have us, rather. Yes. Like to go for a ride, later?” I said.



“Never ridden before, but I’d like that very much.”



“You’ll be sore until you get used to it.”



“I read about that. How long can I stay here?”



“As long as you want,” I said. “Where we’re going is just around the corner.



*****



“There’s a horse on the couch,” said Morris when he saw Hesper.



“He’s a pony, really,” said Stephanie, finally saying something. She trotted over to Hesper, and hugged him, putting her cheek against his. Hesper was perfectly still, quite happy with the attention, and knowing that tossing his head now would not be conducive to the situation.



Morris looked at me. “You let your horses inside?”



“They never make a mess, so yes. Would you like to sit next to him?”



“Please? He’s beautiful.”



“And he knows it,” I said with a chuckle.



We walked over, Morris sat to Hesper’s front, and I sat on the edge of the couch, being there was no more room on it, as it was. Stephanie let go of the pony, and sat at the other end of the couch, behind Hesper.



Morris looked at the book on the coffee table, as he scratched Hesper behind the ears. “Is that your autobiography?”



“Sure is,” I said. “Feel free to pick it up.”



Morris stroked the pony’s head, and then leaned forward, his rear leaving the seat for a second to reach the book, being there was a bit of space between the couch and the coffee table. This copy was black velvet with silver gilt and lettering. “This is thick, and it looks expensive.”



“Money is irrelevant to me,” I said.



Morris looked around. “I see. How often do the torches need to be changed?” he asked as he waved to the walls.



“Never,” I said. “This fire never goes out, either. The rules aren’t the same here as they are where you came from. Also, let me tell you. Everything in that book is real, no matter how outrageous.” I pointed to the table, and a steaming teakettle and three cups appeared. “This one’s masala chi. Black tea with East Indian spices, ghee, cream, and honey.”



“Wow! You seem more powerful than Juan Matus.”



“Different,” I said. I got up, and poured us all some tea.



Stephanie grabbed hers, and had a sip. So did Morris. “Delicious. I’m glad you’re my friend. I’d hate to have you as a foe,” said Morris.



I picked up my cup, and raised it to him. “Do ye no harm, do as ye will.”



Morris raised his cup to me, then Stephanie. “Good toast,” and he had another sip. Then he put the cup down, and started petting Hesper. “I guess I’ll start reading this?”



“Sure,” I said.



“Where are the bathrooms?”



“You don’t have to do that here,” said Stephanie.



“If you say so, I guess I’ll have to believe it.” said Morris. He found the first page, and started reading, while snuggling with Hesper. In a short while, he asked me, “You’re a Death God?”



“Gate Keeper! Please! I’m no more a god than Stephanie’s nose!”



“Hey!” said Stephanie.



Morris just laughed. He wasn’t there, yet.



“Just wait. Stef’s nose is quite an item, here,” I said.



Well, it was rather large. “I guess so,” said Morris. “Now my next question is, am I dead to the world I was in, before? Did that gang actually kill me?”



“You’re a bright kid, Morris. You got it,” said Stephanie

“So I can’t go home again.”



“You can. They just won’t see you. You can also go to when they come to this side of The Veil, and meet them as soon as I show you how. And with me, it will be a lot easier than what Juan Matus did to Carlos. But in reality, it would be a better idea for you to just let go of what was, and just concentrate on yourself and your own evolution for the mean time. Everything else will work itself out, later,” I said.



Morris smiled. “I can’t believe being dead is this much fun.”



“Not for all, Morris. Not for all. And don’t worry. It’s gonna be a Hell of a lot more fun in a little while. After you finish the book, I’ll help you reconsolidate yourself with all your other lives, and then you’ll take on the adult form of your present self, being that’s what you’re supposed to have. I’ll teach you all you need to know about existing here, and then you can decide what you truly want for yourself.



Morris reached for his cup, and raised it. “To Death, then.”



I raised my cup back. “To transition. There really is no death.”



“So I see.”



Stephanie looked at me. “This one is definitely not a food product.”



Morris’s left eyebrow went up. “Huh?”



I just shook my head. “You’ll find out as you get further into the series.”



Morris shrugged, and said, “OK.”



I closed my right eye, lifted my upper lip, gave Stef the ‘tude finger for saying that thing about Morris not being a food product, and all three of us laughed, even though Morris didn’t know why I did what I did.



Morris went back to the book for the read of his life…ere…existence.

Oh, What A Day

The morning chores are done, it's swamped outside, and the rain is coming down like no tomorrow, the grass cutting of the mullethead is on hold, and the news reports are quite interesting. The quake's been upgraded to 9.1, there's been a couple of nuclear meltdowns, they still have no idea of what amount of fallout will hit the west coast of the U.S., and it looks like I'll have to wait until next weekend to see Volume #5 up. A volume up every two weeks was too much to ask, but it won't be the first time I get one up in three weeks. Even then, I'll plan for official time out of here on February 15, instead of March 15, though I almost know I won't see January 2012.

I'm quite happy at the moment. I'm even happy to be here. No, that's not a first time. I had a lot of fun on that first month, setting this place up for us to live in. The dwelling on how slow time was going, and longing to go back home happened after I had more discretionary time to think about things. Isn't that always the case?

I think I'll close off now, and join the other two with all of the cats, on the couch. I hope we have some mango rusk left.

Quake Theories

U.S. was behind it, Christchurch was a test, Japan was the application, and if a quake that size hits California the nation is toast, but the speculators think New Madrid is the next target for earthquake technology.

I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I'm not in a position to say any of this is right or wrong. The U.S. policies are about as suicidal as Israel's, so I guess some of this is possible. After all, for the world to live, the U.S. must die, no?

Whatever. Wonder how the financial markets will respond? Well, I could key in Nikkei in a couple of hours. I probably will, but it's not like I'm going to post the results, seeing the numbers are going to change in a few seconds anyway, but hey!

I'm just glad I don't REALLY live here. I'm glad I'm a fictional character and don't have to worry about this shoite.

Add on edit. Now they wonder if Israel is responsible for Japan dissing Israel.

Who knows? Israel does have all the latest technological gadgets, don't they? And they are notorious for. . .um. . .overkills?

One day, that's gonna bite 'em in the ass. What a psycho government they have.

Then again, so do many other nations, including the UK and the U.S.. They're all asking for it, and I wouldn't stop it if I could.

Vanity

Usually, I don't think much about it. I brush or comb the hair out after a shower, and that's it. I don't dress fancy unless there's a special occasion, and it's more for the sake of the mullethead strutting her two show ponies in town, than for myself.

I got a little corrupted after the delivery of my. . .um. . .new accessories. It was such a pain in the butt to go through all that, though. The stripes took such meticulous care, then getting them off was a drag. Thank the gods we had a half a bottle of baby oil in the cabinets. Made for babies, as opposed to of babies, as the mullethead noted. She thinks they should be sued for false advertising due to that. Having help with the harness, was nice, too. It would have taken me a bit longer to get all the straps cinched right, alone. And regardless how good I looked in it, it was distracting. I would have been more comfortable without it.

Nah, not something I'll volunteer to do again, though I have been told I will be expected to don that get-up for the mullethead's idea of a dream Beltane ritual. I kind of hope, she will be it for that night. I swear. . .if I wasn't a distance runner, I think last night would have killed me.

Well, if I were mortal, that is.

I LOVE All This Rain

Spent some time on the couch with the black and the Siamese tabby, with a kettle of chamomile tay. The fire was off. I rarely drink herb teas, but sometimes the occasion just demands it. The mullethead is going absolulety ballistic over the idea of an early transfer home, almost bouncing off the walls like an amped cat.

Well, not at the moment. The mullethead is in bed right now, probably out cold.

I was contemplating what to make for breakfast. Maybe corn skilk soup, and some pre-made veggie buns with rice flour from the fridge. Of course I'd be making extra soup for the equines. Par for the course. I think we even had enough veggie buns to give them one apiece. They've never had any before, but they'd probably like the sweet rice flour.

We haven't been riding in this weather, but that hasn't stopped the equines from playing in the rain. We'd dry them off a couple of times a day, but other than that, they were on their own. Of course we'd take care of them before bed time, and once in the early afternoon if they went out. It wasn't a problem. So we got to spend a little extra time with our lovely hoofed friends.

Now I just wonder what the day will bring.

Oh, what a pointless post. Why did I even write this?

Oh, because it's there, I suppose.

Equinox Ahead

Doesn't mean much in this part of the country. It's wet. Really, really wet, and I love it. Reminds me of home. Also, according to my 'official' countdown; not including today, we have a year and a day left, and I am anticipating knocking off another month next weekend. I'm sitting on sending my latest short story to The Guild, to see what happens. I'm not going to innundate my publisher with a bunch of side projects that may postpone my series going up faster. I'll try to keep it to one short story a month, and no more than two poems, not that I have any of those at the moment.

The financial markets seem to be a little slow to wake up in the Divided States of America this morning. Did someone forget daylight slavings time hath begun? Or are they just afraid? Very afraid? After all, Nikkei did drop over six percent, but HSI went up so far, so what the feck?

Everybody got up real early this morning. The mullethead took over what I usually do in the morning stable clean-up and feeding, and my mentor helped me with breakfast. No, it wasn't the most practical set-up, but when you have a chick with issues like the mullethead, you let her do the hard stuff. Hey! She could handle it. She was tough enough. Just not as fast, but it didn't matter.

This was going to be a mellow, do-nothing kind of day. Well spend extra time spoiling the cats, the equines, maybe if the rain lets up a little we can take a short walk. I was feeling amped, but not in a way to want to run a kilometre or two through the virtual waterfall that was coming down outside right now. Maybe we could all have tay on the verandah, and watch it come down for a while later. A couple of kettles should do us. Glad we had some rusk left, but only fennel. I liked fennel, but mango left it in the dust. We'd get more on Thursday.

The next dry day we have, I'm doing an eighteen kilometre run. Today. . .well, I'll find something do. I might even hit the mullethead's weight set to get rid of any extra kinetic energy. It was set up adaquately with no readjustments or additions having to be made, considering it wasn't really my thing.

An Emergency Poetry Rescue

There are syntax errors, thr formatting sucks, deal with it. This was a rush job done under duress, OK? There are also a few poems at the end that are in other places. Oh well. This is from a collection I intended to compile into more books, but it ain't gonna happen. OK?????????

Parts of Part #1 of The Conversation

A Verra Bad Poem (Verra=Very)

In self-imposed exile; here we sit,
Upon ma stallion's back a bit, (ma=my)
'Neath them neon skies above;
In this haven, I sae love. (sae=so)

Gane the pain, gane the wae o' His curse; (Gane=Gone, wae=woe)
Tae ride as Death withoot recourse. (Tae=To)
Father's love for me seems none;
For what I was, ain't no fun.

I kilt na ane, na snatched ony soul.
(I killed not one, not snatched any soul)
Wae tae a hated symbol's toll.
(Woe to a hated symbol's toll.)
A bonnie lad; o' ma ken,
(A pretty lad; of my knowledge,)
Pictured withoot ony skin.
(Pictured without any skin.)

I desaired it nae, an' run fro it;
(I deserved it not, and run from it;)
Fro ma destiny, I hae quit.
(From my destiny, I have quit.)
Sae here we sit, on the edge, (Sae=So)
O' the universe's ledge.

Awa' fro ma damn-ed (I still don't have an accent to put over the 'e'.) Astral hame,
(Away from me damn-ed Astral home,)
Ma life winna e'er be the same,
(My life won't ever be the same.)
Here; in ma dear lover's arms,
She-deil wi' sae monie charms.
(She-devil with so many charms.)

Donn

*****


Anither Verra Bad Poem

As I rode by, ye called ma name.
An unco thing for me tae bear. (unco=unusual)
Maist yearn me afar fro them, (Maist=Most)
Yet ye was just standin thair. (thair=there)
No fear in yer eyen, that I saw. (eyen=eyes)
Brave lass; wha seeks ma soul tae bare.
Ye, wha sees me as I am;
Shall I ask, or dae I dare;
Why did ye stop the likes o' me?
A monster in the eyen of men?
Ye roused me aff ma pale steed, (Gold steed, really, and aff=off)
Smiled, caressed ma face, an' then
Ye offered me oblivion.
Aye, a seductive thocht, I thocht; (thocht=thought)
Was tae forget mysel, and
By a lassie's lust be caucht. (caucht=caught)

'Tis been a while, oh aul' langsyne. (With Macha as consort? Yeah, right!!!!!)
('Tis been a while, oh old long since.)
Ye luved me strangely in the nicht,
You loved me strangely in the night,)
With wirds tha' mitigated (wirds=words)
Ma waes, an' every blicht.
(My woes, and every blight.)
Ye wore me doon in ither ways,
(You wore me down in other ways,)
But ye shanna hear me complain. (Compleen don't rhyme with hain.)
(But you shan't hear me complain.)
Ma bonnie lass, ye brang me
Tae a verra fainfu' ha'in.
(To a very pleasant haven.)
Ye mak me canty, aye for ance;
(You make me happy, yes for once;)
Mak me forgit the pyne I wrought
(Make me forget the pain I wrought)
Through no faut o' ma ain, lo'!
Through no fault of my own, love!)
Nou, y'asks me tae grant the lot, (Nou-Now)
Tae sair me through eternity; (sair-serve)
As ye had nou, with ane request;
Just tae by ma protege,
If I'd think ye nae a pest.

Sure! Why no?

Donn

*****





Musings

A child she was, when she needed me;
Yet cold to take my rescue, was she.
Soon; not long, she fell in love with me;
For a relation of poetry.
With the mortals, she couldn't relate,
For it turned to be one of her fates
To question the motivation of all.
Pleased she was, to meet the poets' call;
As she tore my heart out with her pain,
Though I knew my heart would be regained.
Our love; so strained, did defy nature.
I constantly had to re-assure
Her, since 'twas hard with The Veil betwixt us.
For our dilemma, she did much cuss,
And throw many tizzies,

Though for how beautiful our interplaner liaison was;
She became a bi-polar nightmare for it.

Donn

*****





Stupid Is, As Stupid Does

I'm well sheltered, most are not.
I am warm, most are cold.
I am fed, most are hungry.
Why aren't there more in my fold?

Water's mine, sewage is theirs.
My water comes to my house.
How many miles do girls walk,
To get their sludge for their spouse?

Why all these inequities?
Why must so many suffer?
Why must so many languish?
Why can't there be a buffer?

I look 'round, and shake my head.
I see it all. I'm aware.
It seems, so few have a clue,
Or the gumption to e'en care.

If the human race had half a brain,
It would let itself die out.

Stef




*****

Tae Aither/Or
(To Either/Or)

I gae anither nicht in tears.
(I go another night in tears.)
I canna evite whit I feel
(I can't avoid what I feel)
In the dreams that invade ma sleep.
Ma longin's for ye run too deep

Tae e'en escape in Hypnos' hauchs.
(To even escape in Hypnos' meadows.)
I woke up fro anither sairch
(I woke up from another search)
For ye, whaur I coudna find you.
(For you, where I couldn't find you.)
I speir, whit am I nou tae do?
(I ask, what am I now to do?)

Ma days are daurker than ebon,
(My days are darker than ebon,)
An' sleep offers little relief.
Why am I yit alive; I ask, (yit=yet)
If but in meeserie I bask, (meeserie=misery)

Gaun through (Gaun=Going)
Anither day
Athoot you. (Athoot=Without)

Stef







*****


Auld Langsyne. . .NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

My silly idealist, lost in dreams.
With bladed weapons on her walls,
Adopting the culture not her own;
She longed to walk my castle's halls.

Not long after the day we first met;
My eternal one, my property,
My ever devoted protégé,
In verse she declared herself to be.

Of course, it didn't turn out that way.
Not that I cared to own anyone,
But lo; what that lassie put me through!
She constantly had me on the run.

How oft' did I need to rescue her;
My dear runt, with a warrior's will?
The one who refused to compromise,
In the face of reality's fill.

What has to fear, one who's liege is Death?
You have asked, what can one do to you?
Kill you? "Yeah, well bring 'em on!" you said.
Reckless fool, e'er out to misconstrue

What life is all about.




Donn

The Tuatha Guitarist

As the music plays, my world unfurls.
The colours turn, as the veil comes down.
I hear the tunes that the pipes should play,
And face the guitarist on this day.
I'm frozen. Find I can't turn away.
The tunes almost my heart to shreds.
They invade my mind, invade my soul.
I fight back my tears, as I now hear
The arcane tunes; all of yesteryear;
Of the realms that I hold ever dear.

It doesn't matter where I go,
Since I have followed you.
I've never seen such strange finesse,
'Fore I ran into you.
You're so much like a faded rose,
Who's scent will never die.
Your music's like an old world ghost's
Lament from west of Skye.
Your hand slides across that guitar
With a seductive grace.
What secrets does your music tell?
What mysteries does it trace?

I close mine eyes. I'm here, then gone;
First in dark, then in light.
The room around me is no more.
Reality ignites
Onto another tangent, as
You strum my world away;
To where dreams are reality,
And paradise does lay.
Your melody's an eerie call,
To worlds long forgotten;
Where Tristan still walks with Iseult,
And much more's begotten
In the arts, than I knew before
You've opened up the gate
Of yesterday, and times before;
Where nothing comes of late.
You've made my pain all go away,
As you take me beyond
The edge of time, and out of time;
In our strange mystic bond.
I hear, as you caress those strings;
The call of Summerland.
You've shown me beauty beyond call;
In the tunes, you unhand.

Stef

*****




I've Always Hated, Now Hate, Always Will Hate Life; And Trust Me! You Didn't Want To Know Me, if you weren't Donn or Thanatos

After I recalled meeting you,
It pained me so to be apart;
And my resentment of life grew,
As I felt the pain I ne'er knew;

Just from missing the likes of you.
I proceeded then, to withdraw
From ev'rything there was in life.
Existence sans you, was a knife

In the foundation of myself.
In ire, I spurned society,
And rejected all mortal love.
In hate, I pulled myself out of

All, into a reclusiveness
Where I lashed out at ev'ryone
Who wanted insights in my life.
I abhorred all, as I was rife

With miserable frustration
That could ne'er be sated or eased.
Thank the gods, that time had to end;
'Fore how many else I could send

Through the analogy of the meat grinder.

Stephanie

Donn? Thanatos? Rehash, Once Again

I have you at my side again;
And you take me beyond my dreams.
Have I ever felt so esteemed,
As when I'm under your hand? Seems

Not. You pay heed to all of me.
As you now look into my mind,
And let me feel you truly care,
My consciousness is but consigned

To rapture past reality.
The mortal world was such a blow,
Compared to where I now sojourn.
If then I knew, what hence I know;

I'd have dismissed all from my life;
For it was a waste of my time.
For all one is forced to destroy,
It seems life itself, is a crime.

Yet now, I hold you close to me,
And I feel your gentle passion;
And your wishes to share yourself
With myself in such a fashion,

That proves past thoughts I had, quite wrong.
Yes, a man can be a better snoggin' buddy
Than a cat.

Stef

Damn, I Lost One

North wind, south wind, whirlwind, proceed.
A vision passed me, but to leave
Me alone in an early eve'.

Could you not listen to Death's rede?
Couldn't you slow, and introspect?
Hey no! Old words you did neglect;

For in your pain, you could not heed
The commands of the Higher Laws.
Oh, curse your blindness, and your flaws.

You strayed from the destinied (Dialect, OK?)
Path that you, yourself; had chosen.
I long for oblivion's den,

As I lose another, to lead
A much detoured path on the road
To me. Alas, I could not goad

You to follow your Higher Need;
E'en with the force of my power.
Despite due rewards; too sour

Was life, for you.

Donn.






Roxane

It was twice that you lost your illusions.
Does the world wonder who caused you more pain?
Was it he who needed another's word,
Or was it he who writ them, you preferred?

They both did love you beyond description.
You knew of but one, when he was alive.
Of the other you learned, when he did fade;
Reading that one final letter he made

For the pretty one you lost to the war.
'Twas then, when you realised the truth of all;
That for your courtly love, it was too late;
For it was his words that did cause his fate,

Through envy of his eloquence.

Stefan




Time (To you both)

For something that is but illusion;
It caused me much discomfort, and pain.
My awareness of that thing called time;
Did ev'rything, but drive me insane.

All I could think of, was your absence,
And that you promised yourself to me
After something I could not recall.
All I did, was dream of being free

To again be with the one I love;
Soon, outside of time in forever.
I still recall, and I still detest
That vilest span I sought to sever;

Of being trapped by life and time,
Away from you.
I didn't know an illusion could hurt
So bad.

Stefan

*****



Did I Ever Tell You That I Hate Life?

Thank you gods; above and below,
For inconveniencing me so.
Can we twist those thumbscrews tighter?
Can we bleach my eyeballs whiter?
Can my skin, we flay any more?
Can we please cook me, to the core?
Can we roast me over the spit?
Can we arrange another hit?
Can I request an acid bath,
Or a trek through a thorny path?
Might I ask to be skinned alive,
Or my guts get thrown on a hive?

Oh, give me any kind of strife;
Just don't give me another life.

Stef


What's Done Is Done

You revel in your paradise,
As you're in my arms. Cheek to cheek
We stand, yet you dwell on recalls
Of what was, and all the pitfalls

Of the decisions you once made.
Will you ever be at peace, love?
Will you ever "be" in the now?
Is there a way I can some how

Make you see it was all worth while;
And you have nothing to regret?
Nothing could have happened faster.
Sorry, I was not the master

Of your destiny. I could not
Have manipulated your world
To destroy the choices you made.
I could not have risked that you fade

From my future reality.

Donn

*****

What then?

What, when I've transcribed your last tale?
What, when I've writ down our last verse?
What, when my art does end its trail?
Is there more for me to immerse
Myself in your service?

There's nothing I can give you,
That you have a need, or want; for.
Nothing I know, nothing I do,
Has a use, to those I adore.
Before the next Solstice

I know I will be through with this.
My life's mission, I'll have compiled.
For that, I'll feel a fleeting bliss;
But for a while. You; who've beguiled
Me, can I apprentice

Myself to you,
Who I cannot live or die without?

Stef

*****








Closure (Past Perspective)

I drift away in serenity,
Aft I have finished my task for you.
Was it my purpose in life, I ask;
To bring the one so obscure, to view?

Your philosophies are beautiful;
But how many, will your lessons heed?
Did I waste three fourths of my vile life,
Spreading on unhearing ears; your rede?

Yet still, in what sov'reignty I had
To write a plot of my own design;
I did my best to take you away
From chaos, to a realm that will line

Up with what most could never conceive;
To a paradise, worthy of you.
A place of infinite knowledge,
And peace; that's forever been your due.

I've served you here for most of my life.
You're all that got my through my penance.
My lovely guide, to the World of Death;
Now, being I see life's a sentence,

And I finished this project before my time,
Can I please petition you for parole?

Stef. . .oh, all right! Stephanie


*****


Remember That I'll Be There

I look into your eyes, and see the sky.
Your hair is so like a raven's feather.
You stand alone; your emotions frozen,
As you long for the World of The Nether.
Your trust has been so long ago betrayed;
No one of your kind shall ever have it
Again. No one will ever know your touch.
You spurn what you were meant to be. You quit
Walking the mortal realm, while still alive.
Not The Veil between us, or lack of sight
Of the only one you love will hinder
Your passion for me, justice, or what's right.
You make love to me with your words in verse;
My fosterling, my servant, my master.
If all destiny were mine to control,
I'd be apt to bring you to me faster;
But it is beyond my power.

I wait for you, as you wait for me.



Azrael

Red, White, and Black

A rose of red, and a rose of white;
You've given me. The red for the blood
You have shed in your reckless passion
That has never known sense or ration.
The white is mine for the innocence
That we've never really lost; for love
Has always been with us, although strained;
For The Veil between us has pained
Not only you. So many tears fell
From both our eyes in the greatest frustration
At circumstance. Oh, never again
Shall we know the horror of the 'Then'.
I smile, and close my eyes as you kiss
Me on the temple. Your arms 'round me,
As always; so gentle and tender.
Forever your ways will now render
Our woes of the past.
I give you a rose of black,
For Death, and the Unity of All.




Donn

Back, Oh Mortal Flotsam Of Questionable Intent

Who are you, to approach me; boy?
Do you think you can measure up
To the archetypes I worship?
How can you even think to
My devotion in the slightest?
Should I give you the time of day
For pulling me out of my dreams,
If even for a moment? Seems
Like you are an inconvenience..
Ain't my demeanour cold enough
To keep the most fervent at bay?
Do you think that I would betray
My loves from beyond this vile plane
Of being, for the likes of you?
So what is your motivation,
But to add some more frustration
To my life?
Never mind.
Don't answer that.
Just go away.

Stephanie

To The One I'll Never Meet

I close the tome in altered states,
Enhanced by the philosophies
And verses of an ancient ghost;
As I now sit beneath the trees
Before the tall black obelisk,
On the stone bench inside the gate
Of the yard, holding corpses 'neath.
With what can I your work equate?
So dark, yet so enlightening.
By way of art, your love was shown.
Unadulterated beauty
Of words that should be carved in stone.
You died so young, and long ago,
In wisdom that defied your years.
I'm now before your monument,
Struggling to control my tears.

I rue our paths have never crossed,
For what way can love be greater shown,
Than the endeavours of the poets' word,
And would my words have been good enough

For you?

Stef.

To My One Of Two Or Is It Three, That Now Sits Before Me

Encryption and analogy
So beautify our words in verse,
Lending a shallow subtlety
To our passions, so undispersed.
As I again sit before you,
I wonder what poetic rhyme
I can invent to give the due
To my beloved, out of time.
I reach for you, you reach for me;
And I know you, by touch of hand.
My obsession, my destiny;
My gentle lad of Otherland.
My rescuer, my dearest dream.
My true rapture in forever;
You make my inspiration teem,
And when you're there, there will never

Be again another moment of sorrow.

Stef

*****

Death: The Destroyer Of Self-Delusion

How often have I lied to myself,
And made you fight for me to see Truth?
How often have I said, "I want that.";
To be told I'm lying nail and tooth.

Divine intervention’s rife with you
In order to mold me, and make me
Into a creature worthy of all
That I want. Your powers, I can see

Are quite great, and you make me wonder.
In this life of mine, you did pull strings.
How many times have you rescued me,
Or comforted me, or shown me things

That I needed to know, here and now?
How oft' have you saved me from drowning,
And how oft' have you broken my falls?
Many times you've helped me gain crowning

Victories, but all I ever wanted, was you.
You really couldn't have gotten me sooner?

Stef

*****


The Distraction

Touch the nova, catch the flame;
It's a nightmare I can't tame.
It's my downfall, my demise,
Irresistible a prize.
Ravishing beauty, I see,
Lethally smitten I be.
An unearthly light'ning strike,
The white on black, so alike.
My concentration's shattered.
Nothing else that ere mattered
Matters any more to me,
Despite what dishonours be.
Will you now take me away
Before I destroy the stay
Of another, and another, and another?

Stef

To The Ghost Beside Me

I note your pale and spectral form.
I look at you, and you look back.
You smile, and I sense you see me.
Newcomer, what are you to be
In this existence of ours?
Another work of art you are;
Worthy to stand beside the two
That have graced my walls, and that who
I've worshipped since I first knew them.
Your beauty is quite astounding,
But what wisdom have you to share?
Are you one, for whom I should care?
So what knowledge have you attained,
And do you fight to collect more?
Are you but a decoration
That defies imagination,
Or can you be a comrade of ours?

Stephanie

Trapped By Illusion (Past Perspective)

Time does not exist, I've been told;
But for something that isn't there,
It makes me quite miserable.
It makes life nigh unbearable,
For it separates you and me.
Oh, to see you in more than dreams.
My dear reluctant deities,
Will you be more than memories
Anytime soon? This just kills me.
Recollections of existence
In your realm with your company
Couldn't be surpassed in beauty,
Or else that is most wondrous.
Oh, to be hand in hand with you;
Both beside me again. Rapture
It was then, and my departure
From your locality
Hurt me more than anything.

Stef

*****

I Was Stupid, I Am Stupid, I Will Not Be Stupid Again
(Past Perspective)

At dusk, I collapse on the hill
Just yearning for an end to this
Exhaustive treadmill I must face
Day after day. This time; I'll miss
As much as a case of gangrene,
To put it lightly. This is life!
One more unwilling day in hell,
Apart from those I seek. A knife
That cuts into my dreams and goals.
A self-imposed little nightmare!
Here's masochism at it's height,
As I continue this vile fare;
Not for want, but because I must.
"Finish what you started," I'm told.
Yes, but with the realisation
Of my choice to be in this fold
Being as unwise as it was,
And with my resentment growing,
I will not do any favours
For life's cause. So is it showing

How much I hate my state,
As I raze another mortal
Who's fancy I caught?

Stef

The Waking Dream, Repeated Again

Despite the fire before us,
Our breath turns to an icy mist;
Yet I'm unaware of the cold,
For reasons too many to list.
I sit here with my eyes closed, and
My back's against a satin sheet.
We're wrapped around each other now,
Surrounded by electric heat.
My thoughts are scattered to the wind
Of the storm that rages outside.
My concentration is shattered
Into a chasm, ever wide.
We hold each other one more time,
Like we have so oft' in the past.
You make me feel sanctuary,
As you make the night last, and last.
Here, you keep me in a state that's
Completely indescribable.
My attentions can't stay focused.
In chaos undeniable,
My mind does reel and revel much.
In the overload, you provide;
You take me way past and beyond
A Tuatha dream, I must confide.
You bring back times I can't recall,
As I drink your tender warmth in.
I nigh fade, as you contain me.
I've lost where you and I begin.
Your sweet caress, your firm control
That I've to myself, relinquished;
Is beyond all expectation,
And past all that I could have wished
As I've surrendered to you
One more time.

Donn

Pretty Please, With A Nose Hair On Top (Past Perspective)

How oft have I sat under the night sky,
Prevalently wondering how and why
You could so stand to have me still living
On this side of The Veil. I'd be giving
So much of myself to you in the now.
Can you bear once again to know just how
I break into a wild step-dance alone (Ye gods! To Black Sabbath? )
To music that's so wrong? I try to hone
My skills and knowledge to keep my promise
To give you the best apprentice that this

Reality can e'er hope to offer.
You; who've turned me but into a scoffer
To all that life has to avail to me,
For nothing as good as you; I can see
In my past, my present, or my future
In this broken down life naught could suture
Or mend in any way. Can I faster
Come to you, some how? Can I be master
Of my destiny just a bit before
To what I agreed to in the time of yore;

Before I was alive?
Can you please pull
Some strings for me?

Stef

Donn And Thanatos (Past Perspective)

Why is it the ones I can't touch,
Are those that never let me down?
My two loves from beyond my world,
Who will never set foot in town.

Whenever I'm in time of need,
You always do come through for me;
Via divine intervention
To ease my Earthly destiny.

Never would one have thought this true;
That a God of Death would answer
Prayers to ease the road of life.
Though I've always been a dancer

On thin ice, I've always come out
All right, due to your oversight.
My protectors, my guardians,
And my only sources of light

In the darkness of life's journey.
My mentors, my everything;
My main inspiration in all!
My sole reasons for anything,

Can I ever thank you two enough
For being there.

Stef

Another Night With You

On satin, under sandalwood, I be;
And there's the musk, and jasmine, and roses.
I revel in the oils of death flowers,
As well as incense, pleasing our noses.
Candlelight surrounds us in the darkness.
You study me as if you'd never seen
Anything before. We've been together
A million times, yet you are still as keen
On your altered reflection of yourself
As on the wond'rous day we first did meet
After I chose to be reborn like this,
With your then future consort's help. We'd greet
A diff'rent way; I knew, when I destroyed
What I was over again losing you.
I'm sorry I caused us both so much pain,
But my hurt was so bad, who could argue
With my decision to want to forget,
And start over in your sweet company,
Even if I couldn't remember you?
My love from long past, though infinity;

My destroyer of my cool detachment,
Please let me up so I can sit beside you.
More than anything, I just want to hold you.

Thanatos

A Midnight Lightshow

The sun's been down, the aurora shimmers;
As we sit on the pale sands of Tech Duinn.
The curtains of light colourise the sky,
And I look up, feeling higher than high.

I have an arm around each of my loves,
And I'm oblivious to the harsh cold.
I note a shooting star pass overhead,
Though I have no more wishes to be said.

Ev'rything I want's to my left and right,
For all else has proven quite meaningless.
O'erhead, the stars shine through the blue and green
Veils of light that brighten the night's sky e'en

Hours past the dusk. I feel I could stay
Here with you two, 'til the dread dawn comes through.
So peaceful and enchanting is the night,
Both in life and death. The moment's so right,

I'm tempted to freeze it in forever,
Or at least until we get bored with this.

Stef

Stephanie! Oh The Shock! It's A Chick! Uber Cool!

I find you in front of the fire
Perusing our works from long ago,
To the verses we've writ yester-night.
You're still unaware of me, my jo.

I read your thoughts and your dreams in stealth.
As you cover my past words to you,
I feel so inundated by your love
For me, and my flame is lit anew.

I take a forceful step to the couch,
To let you know that I have landed.
You look at me, smile, extend a hand;
With your affections ever candid,

And welcome me to your side. Were you
Expecting me, I'm prone to wonder;
As you're there in the form I prefer.
I'd rather now choose to be under

A lassie's gentle hand, than what you
Have considered an ideal gift
For me. What use have I for a man
To stand at my side in defense? Shift

Your daydreams to reality, for
My realm is a land of peace, and there
Is nothing to protect me from, dear.
Have I the courage, and do I dare

Ask you to stay like this for me, now?
I'd so like to rest against you,
With you holding me close to yourself,
Though I'll admit, since honesty's due,

If you want more,
I winna fecht ye aff. (I won't fight you off.)

Donn

*****

The Ultimate Dream I Didn't Even Know I Had; Fulfilled

What analogies can I use for now?
Pray tell me, what haven't I said before?
How can I express my great elation
At you focusing all your attention

On me, as if I were a bare canvass?
Your apprentice, your art project, I be.
You're the most difficult teacher there is
In all of existence, where all's a quiz.

Ev'ry action, ev'ry motivation
Will be analysed. I will be taught
More than I could have ever realised.,
For you have shown me of late, you're comprised

Of far more knowledge than you've let on;
My poet, my philosopher, my artist, my architectural engineer,
My musician, my strategist, my ice dance, my horseman, and now I find,
My physics wizard.

Did I forget anything?

Stephanie

The Final Farewell To Hell

As our time apart was drawing to close;
As I could almost feel the water's edge,
And the black ferry was just out of reach,
I look south to your island, from the beach.

Can I make out your towers in the fog?
I assume your drawbridge is down, right now.
Do you wait for me by the dock or gate,
As we both abide our delightful fate?

The water's strangely calm for me, to-night;
As the ferryman poles the boat to dock.
A short span across the ocean, this eve;
To leave a life, what's loss I will not grieve.

I move forward, as the boat is anchored.
The boatman takes my hand, and drops his hood.
It's dark, but your red-blond hair does glisten
In the moonlight. My love, you did listen

To my innermost thoughts and dreams, as I find
You done decided to pick me up yourself.

Stephanie

*****

'No Exit' Be Damned! I WANT You Forever

I remember so long ago
When I did try so hard to die,
I almost made it to your land
For good. You met me on the fly,

And you became my counsellor.
I ne'er knew why you took to me.
I was a hostile little shite
Who may have made a daemon flee

In fear of the one, worse than he.
I recall how stupid I was.
I actually spurned you then;
Due to my bigotries, because

You looked too Aryan for me.
Your eyes were way too close to blue,
And your hair was too close to blond.
My great mistake, I was to rue.

Later, when thoughts of your rescue
Became a constant reflection,
I remembered your great kindness,
Your beauty, and the direction

You pointed me in. Gods, it hurt
So much to remember you then.
You became my sole obsession.
I couldn't forget that time when

You told me in our last embrace,
That you'd be there for me until
I didn't want you any more.
I don't see how that moment will

Ever come.
How can my love for you ever fade.

Stephanie

The Fading Of Mine Sanity (Past Perspective)

Slowly, madness creeps up onto me
As the only one I want to see
Remains on the other side of life.

My love is now a conflagration,
And your cursed, yet blessed, past seduction
Of me, cuts me like cold steel knife,

For all I know is this dread longing
That life is viciously prolonging.
Existence without you is sheer Hell.

How long must I continue like this?
You tell me your mine soon, but I miss
You so much, I'm not sure I can dwell

Here much longer without destroying myself.

Stephanie



Ideal Circumstances In Life Are A Myth (A remembrance)

For the moments that I existed
In the seeming haven that I asked for,
I found nothing would work as I planned.
Over myself, I had no command.

Mine endeavours to reach you, apart
Did come. My midnight meditations
Did fail. In longing for you, shattered
Was mine concentration. What mattered

Was sidelined over my missing you.
Neither the silence, nor the comfort,
Nor the ever so peaceful darkness
Could mitigate the cruel starkness

That so ravaged my soul at the time.
The void that I felt; tore me apart,
And destroyed the ideal circumstance
I was in. I never had a chance

To ease my misery over missing you,
Because I was so miserable.

Stef



Mine Gratitude Will Ne'er Wane

I gave so much for nothing in life,
But life is not there for convenience.
I was disappointed so often,
And 'tis obvious self reliance
Is the only way to go, not that
I was too terribly competent
Here. You always had to rescue me,
But you were always there. My heart's rent
O'er the memories of what you did
For me. Always when I needed you,
You were there without fail. You never
Dropped the ball. My sentinels of true
Devotion. The Veil couldn't keep you
From watching out for me. Never had
I met a mortal of your standing.
I now feel I was thoroughly mad
For ever having given anyone the time of day,
And Dudley Do-Right; eat your heart out.

Stefan

Pretending I'm Still Alive

So long ago, you did prophesy
Of a time when you and I would be
Together again after so long
A time apart. A test of how strong
My mental discipline could be, was
My theory of its reason, because
I had to admit I had little,
And my development was brittle
In many ways, I had to admit.
So many times; I wanted to quit,
And just discard myself at your feet
To accept or reject. It weren't neat;
The turmoil I went through over you.
My future lover, and too;
Somewhat my employer, you're to be;
For your apprentice, you'd then take me.
Oh what torture did I find the wait,
And could my existence, I more hate?
For me, time had never passed so slow,
Even though the years were few. To know
Of my year of termination here;
Is this good or is this bad? I fear
As our time draws near, I just might not
Be able to wait for you. I'm fraught
With uncertainty, but the pain is so great.

Stefan




A Reflection Of A New Found Rapture (Past Perspective, Of Course.)

As Death lay frozen in the embrace
Of His blanched out facade, and was the
Willing captive of knowledge that's mine,
He freed Himself of His own fine line

That so long kept Him enchained in what
Could only be a debt to Himself.
Sequestered so long from all He knows
In the here and now, He fin'lly throws

Off the great resistance that once held
Back the curiosity that's His;
Not to be suppressed, in the moment
That was. His tolerance did foment

For what in the past, could never be.
I gave to Him, what I gave to none
Before Him. A strange new attention,
Where I forced on me a retention

Of His essence with a gentle will,
And a power electric, so great
That a lightning bolt it well could tame,
In a way of love, I shall not name.

Stefan

A Vague Description Of What I Wouldn't Specifically Admit To Under Threat Of Being Burned At The Stake, Keelhauled, Drawn, Quartered, Racked, Or Anything Else.

What's it to be outside of gravity,
In the loving arms of eternity?
I was pulled past the bounds of sanity
In a rapturous sensuality
Where I was made to innovatively
Lose myself again. Serendipity
Was mine once more, though in my company,
I never really lose that state. For me,
There is no finer a reality,
Than being so allied to make us three

As one,
And I never know what to expect.

But ye gods! If there's anything beyond
What you then put me through, I think I'll pass. I swear I felt I was going to explode over all four walls and ceiling, and you two would have had to clean up to mess.

Donn



So Near, Yet So Far you Are (Past Perspective, To Either Of You.)

Time passed faster, but I didn't notice.
When you're waiting for something, time stands still.
The Veil grew thinner as our time drew near,
Yet ev'ry night without you was a quill
In my heart.

As I lay in the darkened room, eyes closed;
I could hear your thoughts directed to me.
You answer so many of my questions,
And your consolation; welcome it be.
Time apart

Wanes, and though we are still separated,
I almost feel you at my side, at night.
Almost. Things are better, but still torture.
Not running to you's a personal fight.
A new start

With you is what I have been dreaming of,
After I re'lised what you really were.
Rapture to hold you, or be held by you.
My nightmare on this was we don't concur.
To depart

Mine Hell, and yourn become;
Was all I ever wanted
Since mine true awareness of ye;
Death.

Stef

*****

Recollection, Past Reflections

For so many years, I'm wallowing here,
Existing solely on the memories
Of you. You are all that keeps me going
In this realm of the greatest miseries.

You are all there was to look forward to.
You are my Eden, and my paradise.
You are my promise of a future hope.
You are the only thing that makes the price

Of life worthwhile. Oh, what's a psychopomp?
Placement director, psychologist.
Rescuer, and fighter for unity.
A brilliant white light in the darkest mist.

Have I e'er met one as gentle as you?
Can one be any more benevolent?
Is it possible to be much kinder;
And then there's your knowledge, ever ancient.

Damn, I wish I could touch you now.

Stephanie







My Confession To Stephanie (Past Perspective)

You always wondered what I saw in you.
Perhaps I'm not as selfless as you think.
I have future knowledge. I know you well,
And if you would consider me a fink

For what I am, I wouldn't tell you this.
I do much revel in you devotions,
Your love, and your malleability;
Your creative spirit, your wild notions,

And your desire to please me, as well.
Yes, I play coy; but to cater to you.
You're worth many a compromise to me.
Never has a mortal won my heart. Few

Even cared to try. How can't I value
Your promises, and what you've done for me?
I confess a vested int'rest in you,
My High Priestess of art and poetry.

My future apprentice, and protégé!
You; who've turned yourself into a great gift
To me. I accept you, and promise you
I'll do all I can to raze any rift

Between you and your future happiness;
My most esteemed art project, to be.

Donn

*****

Post Suicide Attempt Seduction On The Itherside
(Tae aither (To either)/or, or baith (both) o' ye.)

Ere I met ye, I ne'er woulda thocht (thought)
Beauty could be sae (so) doonricht (downright) painful.
The verse ye writ, and the wa (way) ye are,
Slaps me wa oopside the heid (head). By far,

Ye're the bonniest lad(s) I e'er saw,
An' the sole ane(s) (one(s)) tha' can deal wi' me.
Ne'er I met ane(s) that's worthy of all
Ma tent (attention) or onwaitin (service). Hae (Have) I gall

Tae (To) spurn aw (all) humanity for ye?
Though ye're but reality in dreams
For as lang (long) as I'm accursed tae live,
Ma love I canna (can't) anither give,

If on Earth they wone (dwell).

Stef



The One Way Glass Between Us (Verrrrrry Past Perspective)

You lay there again, thinking of me,
And your thoughts are like an open book.
I now see the visions in your mind,
And I will admit it hurts to look;
Though at the same time, your love's a drug.
It being that we are planes apart,
Your density's too low to see me,
Or feel my presence being there. Start
To wonder; I do, if I can wait
Like I have been telling you to do.
The pictures in your head are tempting
Me beyond my limits. I go through
You, when I try to caress your face.
I can see you well, but not touch
You, 'cept like an ephemeral ghost.
What I'm going through is pretty much
Like what you've been complaining about.
You broke me down. I'll invade your dreams
Tonight, but I'll make you forget them.
I know you well enough. Â Yes, it seems

For you to remember our intimacy would destroy you,
And for me to continue to withdraw from your affections
Is not something I can keep on doing any more,

Lover.

Donn

The Alternate Reality (Past Perspective)

I remember that night, long ago.
The rain came down hard, the lightning flashed,
And it was freezing as I went up
The stairs. The day had left me quite thrashed,
And I dropped the keys to the front door.
I didn't even take my boots off,
Before collapsing on the cold bed;
Before I could, my consciousness doff.

It seemed I did not fall on a bed,
For I landed on hearth of flagstone
Of a fireplace. The cold was gone,
And the present event would atone
For the miserable day I had.
You were beside me, and reached for me.
I took your hand, and you pulled me up.
I wondered if you had set me free

From my much detested life. You said,
"No, you are still alive, and in dream."
A dream I would barely remember,
And it was not a true dream. A gleam
Of your world, you did choose to show me.
Your great house was vast, and beautiful.
It showed your intellect, beyond me.
Your artistic way would ever pull

Me to you. You looked as ravishing
As ever, in your eternal youth.
How long will I have your company,
My refined one, of such regal couth?
My rescuer, and my destiny.
The teacher who's always at my side.
Though I can't see you in waking life,
And my obsession with you, you chide.

I thank you, Death; for your attention,
For without you, I could not survive.

Stephanie




To Know One With The Akashic Key

As I fade into the darkness
One more time, I am enraptured.
I seem to be alone, but not;
For your precious thoughts are captured

In a stream. . .a flow not denied
To me any longer. I hear
Your voice through the wall of our plane's
Separation; not with my ears,

But with my senses true to me;
Awakened after a long sleep.
The dream of many, is now here;
Eternal knowledge, mine to keep.

A lifelong quest is hence fulfilled,
As you act as the go-between
For me, and the wisdom held back
From my realm. The Truth to be seen

For what it really is, now mine.
For how long will this bring me peace?
How long ere this pleasantry fades?
How long before like life makes this cease

By slapping me upside again
With another pointless tribulation?

Stephanie


*****

Reality Is Hard To Accept, Sometime


I was a hostile, maladjusted brat
Who didn't quite measure up to itself.
Much fed up with life, and obsessed with Death;
I was in no fine mood to waste my breath
Continuing a trend I couldn't stand.
I forgot myself, and died for a while,
But I was not supposed to do that yet.
The living of one more life was a debt
To myself. Now that I know who you are,
I nigh can't believe that you rescued me.
So beautiful and so gentle you were,
And I didn't know you were a prince, sir.
Grandson of the High King of the Tuatha;
You are so unassuming, and very low key.
You never told me what you were, my dear.
You let me find out on my own, and peer
Of mine, you called yourself. You called me
Your comrade, and my common birth was nothing
To fret over, you said; when I found out.
I knew that you loved me without doubt,
Though I had a hard time comprehending
Why. It took me a while to understand
That all that mattered in the end, was love.
All I can do is thank the stars above

That I was fated for you, and you for me.
Getting Thanatos in the deal was pretty awesome, too.

Stephanie

*****

An Apprenticeship With Death, While Yet Alive (Past Perspective)

As the Eve of Samhain approached,
You made your presence known to me.
You knew I'd write you a letter
Wanting your aid and prophesy.
There was now so little time left,
For us apart. The years of three
Would pass; though it would seem quite slow,
I thought. You wouldn't let that be,
However. You showed your powers
As you answered my ancient plea
For a chance to prove myself once
To myself. Opportunity
Was granted to me in a way
Of dreams. Responsibility
And training for your great realm
Would start in my life's end. I'd see
Myself in a different light
Aft it was o'er. I was nigh free

Of Hell, and I would soon know I was worthy
Of you.

Stephanie



Manic Depression, I Think It's Called (Past Perspective)

What madness has encircled me,
Since I have first become aware
Of what you really were? Never
Could I have dreamed, that I would

Pair off with Death in such this case,
Before the day that I met you.
In ecstasy and misery;
I always fly between the two,

For I have you not at my side;
Yet I know soon our time is due.
I long to enter through your Gate
So that I would no longer rue

Mine existence as it is now.
I long for your love and knowledge
On the same side of the Great Veil.
I long to end this pointless dredge

Through the slimy abyss of life.
I seek the ancient paradise
Of your sweet, dark, and silent peace.
I seek an end to turmoil's price,

And the tenacious ricochet
Of my instability of emotions
Over missing you.

Stephanie



You Make Inches Seem Like Light Years (Past Perspective)

So close to me, but I can't touch. . .
It's like I can see the summit
Of the mountain, yet dilemma
Strikes. It seems frustration has lit
Into me, for my rope's too short
For me to make it to the top.
That's my state in analogy.
I feel I'm stuck; no go, no stop.
You're on the far side of the fence,
And I cannot get over it.
You can in theory, but you won't;
Saying that to do so, would sit
With destiny about as well
As you being burned at a stake,
And forgetting all you now are
In your rebirth. This all does make

My last two odd years away from you,
Sheer torture.

Stephanie

Redirect Your Focus (Past Perspective)

The journey of life is never easy,
But take a look at how far you have come.
The journey lessens with each step you take,
And you come closer with ev'ry daybreak,
To the time we'll 'come again, as one.
The Veil grows thinner as each day passes,
And you take note as my voice 'comes more clear
To your perception. Soon you will be here
With me, and I'll never lose you again.
The intensity of your love for me
Is not yours alone. I shed my own tears
Over your pain, and I miss you. The years
To travel really aren't that long. Reflect
On your life, and note how fast it did go.
Yes, waiting makes time seem to stop; so why
Don't you stop waiting, and start living? My
Dear; I tell you again that I'm always with you,
And we'll be together on your terms, soon enough.

Donn




Can The Smog Get Any Thicker? Can I Hack Up Any More Phlegm

I close mine eyen, and rest in peace,
As I recall the darkened sky;
Like none brought to us by nature.
The end of this grey day, gone by.

I revel in the destruction
Of all life as I once knew it,
For now I really ken the truth;
That rapture is, when life does quit.

This paradigm of what passes
For Truth is all wrong, but needed.
If all had the knowledge of Truth,
Would life continue be seeded

As is now, by the ignorant,
Or by the creatures without choice?
If so, what lessons would be missed?
Thanks for letting me hear your voice,

And giving me an education proper.
I didn't need another round of nursery school,
Which is the focus on humanity.

Stephanie






In The Twilight Of Your Life

Come on my love, and take my hand;
As we walk to the promised land.
The journey's long, the journey's slow,
But there's no other way to go.
The trip is life; a migration
To your sought-for destination
To the final sanctuary
Of mine abode. Eternity
For our love is the end reward,
When The Ferry's finally moored
On the dock of mine pretty isle
Between the worlds. In a wee while
Longer; I'll be yours, you'll be mine, ('ours', really)
And you'll ne'er again, have to pine
For the two you so adore. Dance
With me in this dream of yours. Chance
The fact it is not just a dream,
For your reality may seem
Not terribly conventional;
But with inter-dimensional
Affairs regarding two Gatekeepers,
How can you question it, or anything?

Donn



The Gradients Of The Homecoming (Past Perspective)

As we drew near, you gave me things
That I've always dreamed of having,
But never had been ready for
In the past. Dreams of any more

Were beyond what I could have hoped
For, but you also took away
My self-imposed chains, one by one;
As my life here were almost done.

You destroyed my obligations
And eased responsibilities
I'd undertaken without thought
To the future. I had been caught

By my own rash impulsiveness
So many times, and trapped myself,
But you proceeded to free me
From my own past stupidity.

Paradise in life is, when Death is at your side;
Making sure you have nothing to miss,
And everything to look forward to.

Stephanie

The Dusk Of Mine Accurs-ed Life (Past Perspective)

How can I define my final years?
I suppose it's somewhat like a dance
That starts out so delicate and slow,
And will end in a mad crescendo

Of passion I've never felt before.
As our time apart diminishes,
I become more acutely aware
Of how little I really do care

For all I'm destined to leave behind.
I find my misery abated
As your presence becomes more clear. Might
I ask if I fin'lly see the light?

My love of many eternities;
As our distance draws to closure,
I really wonder how hard I'll cry
When we finally break the last tie

That kept us apart for so long.

Stephanie

*****

I'm Here

Remember me,
When you're feeling down,
And you think you need a rescue.

Just think of me,
When all hope is gone,
And life seems like it's Hell for you.

Invoke me when
You come to a wall.
I promise that I'll take your cue.

I'll always be
At your side henceforth.
It's now time, to collect what's due.

I'll take your hand;
Soon enough, my dear.
Yes, you'll be joining my milieu.

You've seen the light
For the final time.
You will never have to renew

Yourself in life, again.

Donn



The Veil (Past perspective, to either of you, of course.)

It's like you're on the other side
Of a thick, opaque sheet of glass.
I can't see, or hear, or touch you,
But I know you're there. This will pass;

I see, yet it's torture for now.
It's like riding a tornado
In a hang-glider. Life apart
From you is hell. I've rued my start

In it from the day I recalled
That I loved you, yet worse it be
To exist without you in Death.
As I take another vile breath

To keep me chained to this disgusting life
A moment longer,
I am yet grateful for what is,
And more so, for what is to be.

Stef


The Dawn Of 2006

I wait another day for you,
Knowing you won't be there tonight.
I know my time is limited
Without you, but life's still a fight
To tolerate for a reason
Obscure to me, 'til my last day.
I will walk in resentment
Until gone be the great delay
That keeps us apart. The hatred
I feel for my circumstances
Is too close to unbearable,
As time leisurely prances
By, torturing me to the best
Of its ability, whilst I
Continue to trudge through this life
Which seems to have lost reason. Why

Must it now continue? And if you're not
Donn or Thanatos; get away from me,
Or I'll bite your head off!!!!!

Stephanie

Congrats! I Now Hate The Illusion Of Time As Much As You Do!
(Past Perspective, of course. Waaaay past, like train wreck time. And yeah, it's got some rehash stuff. I ken, and ya dinna hae tae tell me. Or rather; I know, and you don't have to tell me.)

The past, present, and future I can see;
For the divisions are the same to me.
I can perceive the final destiny
Of all that bears my int'rest to degree,
And causes me to turn my thoughts, like she;
The one destined to be my devotee,
Apprentice, and lover in poetry.
Thoughts of her should lead to serenity,
Yet instead, she brought much turmoil to me.
There's a time when my bane is telepathy.
When one can feel the pain of one lonely
For revisions of ancient memory
Of the sweetest love in eternity;
The great pain I feel for her misery
Of her not being able to foresee
Our precious, and ultimate unity,
Rips me asunder. Her past bigotry
Postponed our togetherness for a wee,
But remember! For your life's agony,
You left a path of tremendous beauty
In art, for those who choose to walk it.

Donn

Closer To Peace (Past Perspective)

Through the haze I see, as our time draws near;
That there was never anything to fear.
I almost touched you, in yesternight's dream;
Or Etheric Vision, it would more seem.
I recall our feeling of Outworld Love;
Beyond imaginings, and way above
Anything that was ever taught to me
Was possible, in this vile world that be
My prison, until my past decision
To return here is fulfilled. What vision
Prompted me to return to life is still
A puzzlement to me, but the day will
Soon be here when I know;
And now, this I know.

Stefan

As If I Didn't Know Better

Iconoclast, defiant one!
The spurner of the world, for Death!
As we now draw closer to embrace,
Yourself in all, you soon must face.
Your flaws and glories nigh to come,
Under your historic review.
Are you content with what you've done
With your life, and rues; have none
To keep you thinking of the past,
And what you may have wrought diff'rent.
If ev'rything's OK by you,
We'll face a future very few
Can even catch a glimpse of,
In our serene ecstasy; undying.

Donn

Just Before My Retrieval

What strange vision had been haunting me,
Where we sit in Irish finery,
In tall gilt chairs, an a darkened court,
With nothing around, of any sort.
Your mind to me, was an open book;
Though a bit after I had a look,
I had to cringe, for what I did see;
When I found what you did make of me.
A brat, a child, I seemed to you then;
Yet your explanation did stand when
I objected. I wasn't ready
For your realm. I was too unsteady
in my self-control and discipline,
To be given fee reign. Still I win,
Though to follow your strict guidelines;
I was with you,
And I would become the best I could become.

Stef

Sighted, In Ecstasy (Past Perspective)

My desire beyond all desires,
In view. So close is my one beloved (belov-ed).
My guardian out of time, with wisdom
And knowledge of Infinity's Kingdom.

My lover in ways un-definable
In language. My one worthwhile obsession.
Will my lives all be consolidated,
And all my memories reinstated

At the moment I cross The Veil to you,
Or will I again have to jump through hoops
To regain what I long past, tossed away?
Still, I close my eyes and await the day

In peace, for I know it is near,
As are you.

Stephanie

Thoughts On The Final Stratum Of My Life

I reflect on that wonderful night,
When I saw you in the toxic dream
Of the sweet poison that took me more
Than once, to you. To me it did seem

I was a desperado in time,
Defying your wishes once again,
And Higher Law, when I came to you
On my terms. I requested much, when

We met. I asked for knowledge, and you;
But got neither, yet you gave to me
A most precious prophesy. You told
Me the year that I would never see.

On that night, my life 'came a number,
And I measured all in the stages
That I went through, and was to have left.
My life was a layer of pages

That existed in tiers. I looked back.
My first years in life were paradise,
Then I spent almost as lon in Hell.
What came after had a heavy price,

As I battled my past, and myself;
Yet that fateful night was a breakthrough,
For after that, things were never the same.
Ev'rything fell into place, 'cause you

Gave me an eerie luxury in my last years.
Was it the Aztec sacrifice, who was given
One year of temporal heaven,
Before having their heart ripped out

On the alter?

Stephanie




Progressive Alienation

As I stand before the twilight,
I ponder the great pointlessness
Of life. I feel like such a fool
For asking to be here. A pool

Of great suffering, it e'er is.
A place of grand limitation
That I detest with all of my soul.
My hatred turns me black as coal

As I walk away from the world;
Which has nothing for me these days,
But misery. My great mistake
Of asking for this final take

In the Hell of The Physical,
I will rue until time does end.
I wish that I could know right now,
Why I was so stupid, and how

I can span these final days
Without you in my arms.

Stephanie

Man, The Suspense Is Killing Me

Where will you be, when I turn the key?
On what side of The Gate, will you stand?
Will we touch fingertips, take my hand?
Will you let me stroke your pretty mane?
Can I run a finger down your face?
Will you take me, in needed embrace?
Will you open your mind, all the way?
Can we make up for the time we lost?
Can you make my vile life, worth the cost?
Will my love for you be forever?
Can my feelings get any stronger?
Have I cared for one, any longer?
Will you then let me envelope you?
Can I take you past enrapturement?
Will things be, as how I think they're meant?
Can we exist in eternal bliss?
The things I envision; can they be?
Can I create our reality?

Will the future be, what I see?

Stephanie

*****

My Price For Not Listening To Reason Before Life

I have you with me, yet I do not.
In the darkness I can hear your voice,
Which to all others would be silent.
I tell you, that if I had the choice;
You're the only one I'd want to hear
In forever. I no longer care
For my ignorant passions of yore,
And the foolishness I chose to bear
In life for the sake of my ego,
And that is all it was, was it not?
To experience an existence
Of suffering, great longing and rot;
So I could become a reactive
Idiot who's forgotten the whole
Of what's important? So I could fight
To remember and learn what? What goal

Am I here to attain?
Simply to learn I'm the biggest moron
That ever was, for choosing to live
One. . .more. . .time. . .?

Stef

*****

Another Night, Another Rewrite

I come closer, yet I'm still so far
Away. The time between us does mar
My sense of peace; for how can I be
Serene with my beloved destiny
Still so out of reach. Be it a year
Or a day, existence seems unclear,
When I'm without you. How much longer
Must I wait here, and how much stronger
Must my will be, to see this nightmare
Through? As I continue, I so wear
Myself down. I'm exhausted, striving
To keep reluctantly surviving
In a state I loathe.

WHY?!!!!!!!!

(Don't answer that. This is just another bitch fest, and of course it's to both of you.)

Stef

See Ya! Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya!

The time will soon be here, where I will see
My desired personal sov'reignty;
Where I will see a complete liberty
From all the damn chains I put upon me,
And I'm released from my stupidity
Of the past. In a year, I shall be free
From the prisons of humanity.
No more shall I deal with society,
Or it's vile, base dysfunctionality;
For I do ask, what honour can there be
When all's done with obligatory fee?

You, who are of my species which I've disavowed;
Fuck off and live forever, dipwads;
'Cause' I'm gonna die some day,
And I don't want you in my 'hood!!!!

Stephanie

A Potential Make-Out Session

In darkness, my mind is floating in space;
In a fair dream of what I may soon face.
Inspired by visions of another,
In whose attentions I often smother,
Much like a nitrous oxide overdose.
In her images of holding me close;
I'm with her and my love of ancient time,
In double embrace of seduction's prime.
I'm not sure I can be where she sees us.
Will my reality e'er be as thus?

Oh; I don't know, but the intentions sure feel nice.
The upside of being a telepath.

Donn

Perish The Thought

Will I ever let go of what I know?
Will a caress become irrelevant?
Will I 'come jaded with holding you close?
Will old wants fade with evolution's bent?
Will I lose touch with nostalgia's good feel?
Will I cease caring 'bout what I love now?
Will I ever stop writing you verses?
Will a time come when I will question how
I could be like I am to-day?

Stephanie

Out Of The Labyrinth, Into Clarity

Corridors and turns; which way do I go?
Will this door lead me out, or to dead end?
What's the point of being in this here cage,
With harsh surprises around ev'ry bend?
A great maze is what my whole lif has been.
Isn't that the case, for ev'ryone here?
A treacherous path, of what pain and woe
We face in the turns we take, far and near.
But what if I do not choose to walk the path?
What if I instead, opt to climb the wall
To look overhead and see the way out?
Yes, what if I choose not to heed the call
Of what keeps humanity trapt, and fly
Above all the pointless tribulations?
I know enough of the Truth to be 'ware
That knowledge is the only salvation
From this hell called life;
And soar over it, I shall.

Stephanie

As Desperation Fades

No, I still cannot see the light.
The time is yet to far away,
But isn't the tunnel still dark;
Be the journey a year or a day?

Is it the last hour I'll see
The brilliance of you standing there?
A beacon of light in blackness;
The one to me, who Truth will bear?

You're the Hope in Pandora's box;
The fruit from The Tree Of Knowledge.
You provide the key to all things
That can't be taught in college.

You are complete freedom from pain.
You are release from the prison
Which we all put ourselves into,
On our quest to find a vision

In that great land of illusion
Where reality is veiled;
And by being in it myself,
It proves my intelligence failed

Me, but at least I know a day will come
When you'll rescue me from my own
Stupidity, and I surrender to it.

Stephanie

The Longings Of A Promise Shared

I said I'm yours, you said you're mine,
And time would ne'er tear us apart.
No care, how many lives you lived,
Our memories would stay at heart.
In dreams and ancient visions
Which you could not ever forget,
I'm with you, and I'll never leave;
Though you and I must suffer yet
For just a little while longer,
As The Veil is still between us.
For our pain, we write our verses,
And I suppose that is a plus;

For when we meet in my realm next time,
We'll never be apart again,
And a trail of beauty we'll have blazed,
For when our happiness was razed.

Donn

*****

Prisoner Of Time

What's the hour, and what's the day?
Where do I have to be right now?
The clock and that damn calendar
Are prisons without bars, I vow.
How much more time stands between us,
'Fore I can hold you in my arms
Once more, without e'er waking up?
When can I ignore the alarms
Of obligation to the world?
A world that I detest so much!
A world that wastes my essence, so!
Will I soon be free of time's clutch?
I feel so incarcerated,
And why doesn't anyone see
That life is worth less than night soil,
And it keeps all from being free;

For life is slavery to itself.

Stephanie

Almost, Not Quite

It seems like the door to you is open
Just a crack, yet I can't budge it any further.
I know it will unseal in its own time,
Yet for now; how can my ambition climb
Any higher, being as I'm denied
Access to you, and The Truth of The One?
Is there anything else to care about?
I'd give anything to slay all my doubt.
Through the crack of the door, I see the light,
Yet there are no images in my view.
As the greatest source of my hope shines through
The door, I get a glimpse of the day you
Will be with me again,

But it still hurts to wait.

Stephanie

And The Darwin Award Goes. . .To The Human Race

I stand on the mountain top alone;
Always having lived on the outside,
And refusing to do things their way.
A long time ago, I saw the day
Of their destruction, by their customs.
Their end came by their own undoing.
They were too stupid and blind to see
That they would have been wiser to flee
From their traditions that destroyed all
They touched. Too afraid of change, they were;
To heed the ancient philosophies
Repeated so many times. The keys
To salvation, written by sages
Over and over again, were not
Regarded after they have been read,
And now the cities below are dead.

I guess it's too late to say, "I told you so."

Stefan

*****

The Turning Point Of Summer

The nightmare has finally arrived.
The turning point, I again survived.
I greet the dawn, and I greet the dusk
Between the nights that were too brusque.
Being the lover of night I am,
I find this Solstice does well to slam
My dream of eternal darkness down,
And I'll wear a perpetual frown
Until the Equinox comes to me.
I long for the lengthy nights to see,
Like one in the desert seeks water.
These long days, my senses slaughter,

But at least the nights grow longer now.

Stephanie

Perception Wide Open

Horizons past the horizon I see.
They're open to all, limitless and free
To those who see past the duality
And realise ultimate unity.
The changing winds goaded me to come here,
To face all that is with no sense of fear.
My consolidated knowledge is clear,
As The Veil has 'come thin. Not one mine tear
Was once ever justifiably shed,
For all I mourned was ego's dread
Chain and tyranny of my soul, soon dead.
From conventional teaching, I have fled

To find long sought Truth
In the Gatekeepers' arms.

Stephanie

Paradise Found

There is a blueprint on the table
That surpasses ev'ry faery tale,
And the library behind me goes
Into eternity's realm to hail
All knowledge of what can ever be.
There is a new painting on the wall
That I did complete just yesterday,
That was once imagination's call,
Yet now it is my reality.
I sit before the glowing fire
Beside my love of such ancient times
In this realm where I cannot tire,
Though as my head rests on his shoulder;
Sleep does hold the seductive promise
Of dreams beyond my conscious longings,
And the touching of mine Heaven's bliss,
As another gale wind blows outside,
And the torrential rain starts up again,
Over The House of Donn.

Stefan

Why Was I So Stupid, To Have Lived So Many Times?
(Subtitle: Different Day, Same Ol' Bitch)

How many lives have I already lived,
And why am I still in this hell-hole now?
Why did it take so long for me to see
This vile sewage pile of High Density
Should not even exist? Why am I here
In this disgusting place of compromised
Ability, self, and integrity,
When it's become so obvious to me
That all that matters is self-containment,
And knowledge, and trying to do no harm
To the dear ones who were given no choice;
The ones so exploited, without a voice?
When I'm free of this place, I will but stay
With the uncorrupt and honourable;
Never to see but Gatekeeper and beast
When I become eternally released
From this abject agony
Of the Physical Realm

Stephanie

Harsh Transitions. . .For Some

As I take another step closer
To you, enrapturement does ensue,
For the entropy I've awaited
Now arrives, as I knew to be true.
All I've detested will hence go down
In heavy smoke, and wind and flame;
Yet through the fire I'll walk to you,
And things ne'er again will be the same
For me. Through the destruction
I walk not in peace; but ecstasy,
As I see what I so loathed now die
Over and over again. For me,
This is gloating time. I revel
As nation after nation does fall
To their greed and great stupidity.
It's time to answer the Karmic Call

Of their bloodlust gone by,
As I laugh to see it come
And soon to be gone,
As I take the Gatekeepers' hands.

Stephanie

*****

End of Part #1 of The Conversation









FROM: LIFE WITH THANATOS

The Housecat Consoles the White Tiger

You proceed to defy reality,
As I lay my head upon you again.
How often do you send me into dreams,
Though I've ne'er needed sleep, since time began?

You have penetrated the walls of one
Who once existed without reaction.
You've proven not even I'm immune to
The power of love's determination.

Through my hair, down my cheek, o'er my shoulder;
I feel your ever so comforting touch,
Yet the caress of your thoughts directed
At me, do surpass even that by much.

Still, shouldn't we trade places, my dear?
Ye gods, by what do I outweigh you?

Thanatos

One More Piece To Express My Undying Gratitude

Sitting her now; I really wonder
What I could have been like, only if
We could have always been together
From the start of forever. Whether

I could have been better for it will
Never be known by the likes of me.
I assume my being would have been
Much happier. I cannot begin

To imagine; now that I know you,
How I could ever have endured without you.
You made the negative go away,
And let me go on another day.

'Twas only my knowledge of you two,
That let me suffer life's completion.
This moment now, makes all of my vile
Experiences in life, worth while.

Thanks again, my loves.

Stef

A Moment of Consolation

What a strange sight, we two must be,
But I just cannot get over
Ev'ry thing that you've done for me.
You helped calm the questing rover

With your attentions, and your care.
With re-assurance never ending,
You have always helped me to bear
The hardships that life was sending

Me, from the day I first saw you.
Thanks for letting me in your lap,
To risk derision from a few,
Or some silly social mishap;

For this lad's a bit old for this,
Aren't I?

Stefan

Paradox

So defiant in your realm, you were,
Yet you all but lost yourself to us.
What's happened to your identity,
When dwelling in your company?

You blend into us, with love so sweet,
And grant us undying devotion,
Yet in life all you saw was a fight
With the ones who couldn't see your light.

With us, it seems that all you once were
In your high degree of contention,
Melted faster than ice in summer.
Well, we're both glad you had our number.

Our protégé; our dear shared lover
Of unique intention rarely found,
We thank your great determination
To capture us with your seduction,

But wasn't it a bit much
To stand before the gates of Tech Duinn
Gift wrapped, with a ribbon around your
Nose?

Thanatos

*****

This Means War!

How many more must I devastate,
Before you'll let me back home to you?
How long must I stay here 'gainst my will,
Before we realise that I'm through
Playing the stupid games of this place?
I quit! I withdraw! I'll stage a coup
Against all that I'm supposed to be.
I'll turn all away. I'll start anew
With a reborn defiance against
This cesspool in which I am now trapped.
I now go to my personal cave;
Which cannot in any way, be mapped.
I disavow all humanity.
I will no longer relate to them.
My wall grows much higher and thicker,
Against the existence I condemn.

From now on, it's you two,
Or no one.

Stef

You’re Now Repaired, But Was It Worth The Cost?

From omnipotence to innocence.
For love, omniscience was erased,
And you had to start again from naught.
After, your innate self was debased,

For all you were, was much rerouted.
You lived in a way alien to you,
In foreign vulnerability.
For you, the concept of 'need' was new,

But thank the gods that it didn't last,
For you found yourself again.


Stefan

*****

It Was

When it's the only thing troubling you;
A lost love is rather hard to bear.
It becomes your sole heart of direction,
And brings more sorrow than I could care

To experience. You should know, dear.
How often have you wanted to die
For not being able to see us
On your terms? How often did you lie

There in tears, and complete misery;
Because we could not be there with you?
How often have you longed for our touch,
In that so 'disgusting' world you knew?

No, my kind is not spared from the pain.
Love: No matter where from, is the same,
And so is the hurt of departure.
You and me do share the same mind-frame.

Considering what now we have;
Yes it was worth it
To walk into the fire.

Thanatos.

The Last Portrait

To me, it always was. I knew,
For my existence out of time.
What was for you; Akashic dreams,
Was for me, reality; sublime.

You fought so hard to capture me,
From long lost dreamscape memories.
You more than succeeded, I think.
Have my eyes ever been so pleased?

In night vision, I then met you
To but express my gratitude.
I didn't touch you, or come near,
Still wary of your attitude

Of wanting me in ways foreign
To my innate self of being.
I found myself nicely surprised
That night; to find yourself seeing

Things from my perspective.
Thanks for the painting, and yeah!
You'll get a hug.

Thanatos

So Much For My Innate Self

In our embrace, you overpower me,
As your thoughts inundate all that I be.
Me; in total and complete surrender,
For you to set my senses asunder;
Is what I see as your one focal point,
As once more, with scented oil you anoint
Me into a world of your sacrifice.
All you want is my rapture, for no price.
Your love for me, so unconditional.
Refusal would be so irrational
For me.

Thanatos

Everything

Can you take your eyes off of me,
As I'm compelled to close mine own.
Pay heed to myself; you tell me,
As my state of being, you hone.

Such effort, you put into me;
In ways, I can never describe.
Your adoration astounds me;
Defying the known diatribe,

As you do. Now, please forgive me,
As I lower my face from view.
I can't fight what you've offered me;
Which included a peace, from you.

I'm yours forever;
As if you didn't know that. . .dudette.

Thanatos

Frozen In Forever

I recall the dream from so long ago.
You never came to me alone, ere then.
You wore the sweetest smile I ever saw,
And I yet revel in that time, sans flaw.
You said nothing; for it wasn't needed,
But I knew of your appreciation
Of my endeavours to earn your favour.
Though long gone, 'tis still a dream I savour.
My snow white angel of demonic eyes,
Though I have been with you now, for so long;
I will never forget that fateful night
When you came to bless my Otherworld sight,
To let me know
I have pleased the God of Death.



Stefan

The Same Old Gripe Revisited

I look back at the tracks I left,
And wonder what the crushed grass felt
As I'd trod upon each green blade.
For my life, what the price was paid;

For ev'rything my path had crossed?
How much have I destroyed, I ask;
In my affairs of predation?
Life is no cause for elation.

Why did I ask to live again?
Was it to revel in guilt?
What insanity's compelled me
To live out the vile destiny

Of causing such great pain to much
That was in my vicinity?
Curse my decision to return.
My needed lesson was to learn

Life's worth less than nothing.

Stefan


Another Accurséd Sunrise

'Tis dawn again, and you're gone again,
As I'm pulled back to dread consciousness.
Gone's your wisdom, for stupidity;
In this realm of such high density.
Another time of toil and torture;
As I spend all day, thinking of you.
I can barely on life, concentrate;
Without you here to mitigate
My resentment of my circumstance.
My memories of you, pain me so.
Ev'ry night, I prithee and ask why
You can't pull the strings to let me die,

So I'll never have to say good-bye
To you again.
Stef

Damn, Life Takes Forever When You Don't Like It-Past Perspective

I know this transition will come to end,
And though time shortens, it still seems to send
Me into mad fits of insanity.
When waiting, seconds are eternity,
And years are unimaginable
Torture. The pain is insurmountable,
As I continue to bide here for you.
The gnawing emptiness inside me's too
Much to bear, day after day. I cannot
Continue, but in loathing this. I rot

In mind and soul, without you.

Stef


Me And Thanatos, On Tech Duinn

The white tiger sits before me,
In the atrium at night.
I looked up to the glass ceiling,
And I saw the comet's light.
The beauty that surrounded me,
So like phoenix's flight.
In great peace, I move beside you,
My dear visual delight.
My love of so many ages,
Who's guided me to what's right.
My shatterer of illusion;
Mitigator of the fight
To stay alive unwillingly.
You have taken quite a bite
Out of my misery; neon
Eyed angel. If I now might
Embrace you; this evening
Will be complete.

Stef

From The Perspective Out Of Time (Blast From The Past)

You're aware ev'rything's as it should be,
And all in the end, through eternity
Will become One, like it was long ago;
Though past, now, and then are the same, we know.
Your last life is rapidly running out.
Why don't you rest easy, and ease your doubt?
I keep telling you, ev'rything's all right,
And your present existence; so a blight,
Will end soon enough, and you will look back
And wonder why you proceeded to rack

Up so many bitches for such an easy life,
Oh somewhat deluded brat.

Thanatos



Thanatos

You are an oasis in the desert.
You are like a torch in the darkness, complete.
You are the rain after a lengthy drought.
You are the touch, after a lengthy bout
With isolation.

Like wisdom in a sea of ignorance,
Or a cool spring on a hot summer's day;
Or a drop of hope in a vicious world,
Where great cruelty; left and right, is hurled;
The mitigation

Of all despair exists, because you are.
Your beauty does excel past all we've known.
Your promise to release all from their woes;
Who know your path, when they reach life's close,
An invitation

To the paradise of omniscience,
And the ultimate peace of detachment
That flows when your road is followed, Great Sage.
Those that find you in life, break free their cage
Through motivation

Of wanting to find you before you'll meet.
One of us recalls being in this state,
The other of us recalls your love, and
Devotion throughout the eternal sand
Of time's relation

To Death.


Stef and Donn


A Rehash Of My Submission To You

Do I call myself de-natured,
Or simply more open minded?
I look on, from new perspective,
As what I am is rewinded
To suit your own reality.
I'm forced to focus on new options,
And I find I don't mind at all.
I've surrendered to your passions
In ways past, I could never dream.
To taste vulnerability,
I've found could be the sweetest thing;
Considering your ability
To provide the tenderest ways
Of expressing consolation.
Never have I revelled so much
In once alien conception

Of yore;
That I could take such pleasure
In contemplations of
Tragic circumstance.

Than


The God Of Death Gets Playful

On the Darkside, over the snow and ice,
Two red orbs float over the frigid ground.
Dressed in white, impervious to the cold,
The alabaster one is to behold,
Something, somewhat of a snow ghost.
Neon eyes in near absolute darkness,
For the stars offer very little light,
In this dear land of perpetual night.
The wind blows harsh and high, the wind blows strong;
Yet he treads light and easy, with a smile.
With a poise beyond imagination,
He flows sans seeming realisation
Of what the environment is, at large.
I hail the spectral form so beautiful,
And rue it soon, for with his genteel grace,
I ended with a snowball in my face.

Stefan

My Eternal Hunger

I want you, protector, yet protected.
I want you over me, yet under me.
I want you omnipotent, yet also;
I want you with vulnerability.
I want you to be a part of myself.
I want you so I can look at you.
I want you as the ultimate apex.
I want you as a guide to help renew

Myself, so I can follow in your footsteps.

Stef.

To Love A Psychopomp

Is it a life to seek perfection,
And tolerate nothing any less?
We're condemned to walk in resentment,
Being all too aware of this mess
We are forced to exist in, for now.
To live a whole life, longing for death
Seems to me, so completely pointless.
Is there a bigger waste of one's breath?
Azrael, Thanatos, Anubis,
Or Donn. The great list goes on, and on.
So sweet is their touch, so sweet's their love,
But when one wakes from the dream, they're gone.
We exist in a state, where nothing
Matters, and we always wonder why.
Nothing here's worth anything to us.
We refuse to sell ourselves or buy
Into the decrepit illusions
That the common people exist for.
Why are we trapped in this hell, I ask;
Where one's expected to be a whore,
To the treadmill and the traditions
That bring evolution to a halt?
We know better, so why are we here,
In this vile locale, beyond all fault?

Seek us not, in our defiance.
We'll rip your heart out, and make you eat it.

Stefan

Sometimes You Gotta Die To Live

I glance at you, just sitting there.
Your nose is in a book again.
You're dressed in jeans, and a plaid shirt;
Tryin' tae luik unint'restin'. (Trying to look uninteresting)

It daesna wirk, ma bonnie lad. (daesna=doesn't, wirk=work)
Sleek as a great white cat, you are.
A burlap sack couldn't hide this,
Or your astounding looks, by far.

What now are your priorities,
As I come o'er to sit by you?
You've read this buik o' verse ere, sae (buik=book, sae=so)
Can I borrow you for a few?

I move my arm around your back,
And you return the hold on me.
I guess you're now seduceable,
As you free up your dreams to be.

In sweet telepathic union;
Feline passion, feline style.
I see a 'scent mark frenzy',
And then after a little while,

Sandalwood oil saturation;
In a delicacy I miss
When deprived, before you take me
To the ultimate Tantric Bliss.

I'm game.
Go for it.

Stef


Another Day, Another Bitch Repeated

Though I already be aware of it,
You re-iterate the dark truth to me.
I've faced myself, and fought myself so long,
Yet still I haven't won the fight. So wrong

It seems to force us to forget
What we really are, and make us travel
The cruel labyrinth of life to find
Our way back home. Why must we fall behind

From our once so lofty state of being,
And become such predatory morons;
Fighting to re-evolve to what we were?
I know you can, but will you answer; sir?

Will I ever lose my great resentment
For having been forced to go through the trials
I had to face? The worst was knowing you
Exist, loving you so much, and then due

To The Veil, not being able to touch
You, but in dreams.

Stef

Knowledge (Past Perspective)

Is it trauma, or is it peace;
I always used to wonder, then.
Could I really handle The Truth?
A question I often asked when
I was still alive.

I heard nothing's an accident,
But what does that say for free will?
Does this make life a scripted play?
So many questions I had; still
I had to survive

Unwillingly in illusion,
For what reason, I did wonder.
I was told life was my own fault.
My decision was a blunder.
I managed to dive

Into Hell, and I could never
Understand how I was so dumb
To make the stupid decision
To exist with faculties numb;
Where one must contrive

Silly excuses and reasons
To rationalise their battle
To remain in the vile prison
Of life. Yet so much like cattle,
People do derive

An incomprehensible way
Of existence without question
Of their lives and even pleasure
In their basic destitution.
I think to revive

Oneself through Death is the ultimate
Liberation, and I'm not going back to Life
Under any circumstances.

Stefan

*****

My First Lover, I Call To Thee (Past Perspective)

You; who are omnipotent, and mine
In mind, and soul, and eternal love;
I have a desp'rate request of you.
On impulse I have caused great pain of
An unimaginable degree
Which could not be avoided, for fate
Had her star-crossed claws in all of us
The day our lass met that fatal date
Of self-destruction. The pain's too much
To take anymore in the regard
Of our separation, for us both.
My rescue of her was easy. Hard
Are the daft rules of inter-planer
Seduction, where she must wait a life
Span complete, to meet with the sole one(s)
She cares about. All days are great strife
Under these circumstances. What point
Is there to her further suffering,
Not that she is alone in this hell?
Have you any way of deferring
The rest of her contract,

Since it would truly benefit us all?

Donn

Patience, Dudes; But Since When Were We A 'Virtuous' Bunch?
(Past Perspective)

We have each other out of time,
With hiatuses in the world
Of her wakeness, which is truly
Her sleep.

Time with us out of memory
In her conscious state is needed,
As is her completion of life;
To keep

Her with us. Our fire burns hot
In anticipation, as time
Runs out for our inconvenience.
Not cheap

Is the price of being with us.
One's evolution cannot be
Compromised for our company.
Don't weep

For time. It won't be relevant
For too much longer. I implore
You to realise our state, now.
We'll reap

All she has written or transcribed.

Thanatos

And Then We Were Three

I was once, and there was little else,
Yet I had an awareness of more.
I was a small part of ev'rything,
From way beyond eternity's door.

I once knew love in a detached way;
Before I met my dear counterpart,
Yet still were my feelings quite even
And calm. Passion was not yet to start

Until a mortal crossed my love's path,
Who just couldn't be ignored. 'Twas she
That lit my fire like none before,
And forced another outlook on me.

I was thence introduced to new ways.
Such alien manners of thinking
Went against all I was meant to be,
But in the end, it was for linking

Me more to humanity's best,
As she became more like me.

Thanatos

White City Under Red Sky, Built In A Book

I stand on the tallest white tower
In the City of the Dead.
The City reserved for artisans;
The Town of which you've never read.
An Etheric-Astral dream it be;
Where nothing ever stays the same.
Of creativity's obsession;
The New Place, that has no name.
I watch the eternal sunset now,
In the lovely twilight realm.
The peaceful dusk, forever with us;
This beauty does overwhelm
My Higher Senses, as they've become.
It's of my fire, my drive;
For my imagination did build this place,
When I was still, stuck alive;

Or was it really here, forever;
And something I was allowed to see
In Akashic Dreams?

Stefan

No, This Ain't Worth Filming

You stand before me; then fade out
Into a mist, as I draw near.
You envelope me, dear White Fog.
Can elation be much freer?

I feel your presence, yet I don't.
In vicarious memories
Of yourn, I revel in rapture.
You do rather well to appease

My past and present quests for all
I could have hoped to ever know;
And of course, in love; you've surpassed
The loftiest extremes. I go

Beyond The Beyond, when I'm with you (and/or Donn).

Stef

The Greatest Peace, Amid The Greatest Violence

By the threshold of the tower we stand.
The cover of midnight darkness is rent
By a short, harsh, electrical daybreak;
Followed by a roar that Thor may have sent.
The torrent of rain is a waterfall,
And it looks as the moat may flood over.
As I stand here beside you, tea in hand;
I feel blest I'm not an Irish Rover,
Trudging o'er the steppes on this impressive night.
The wind howls like there is no to-morrow,
But as I stand between my two great loves,
I know bliss, and not a touch of sorrow,
For what this Last Storm
Will bring the world.

Stefan

Speaking Of The Other Side Of Sanity

You have led me down a path of madness,
Where my being was annihilated,
And I lost all sense of self-coherence,
With my independence decimated;
As I became aware I was nothing
In my own right. I'd have died without you,
Though I longed to die for you. I'll never
Understand how I made it through those few
Years, where I forgot that you existed.
In those days; I lived for the wrong reason,
Following the herd's shallow paradigms,
And superfluous trends of the season.
Thank the gods, I had the brains to bypass
The worst, and ignore social convention
When it disrupted what was important;
Like the freedom from the great stagnation
That comes with the vile, self-imposed bondage
That so many put themselves under for
Lack of thought or conviction. I thank you
Eternally for showing me the door

To thoughts independent of the rest,
Though these thoughts were not independent
Of you.

Stef

A Rebuttal To: Speaking Of The Other Side Of Sanity

Things are not as they seem to you, my dear.
You haven't really lost yourself to us.
We have so many shared philosophies,
There is no need to compromise to please
Us in our shared opinion of yourself.
Our compatibility is not strained.
It never was, nor did we once debate
Over anything, but the life you hate.
There were issues where you weren't to secure,
And we guided your opinion, but hey!
You're quite reasonable. It's ne'er a fight
To make you see that we are always right,



Except for your view on human children
Being a good fajita ingredient.

Thanatos

*****

Equinox Again

I went to sleep, wondering if I'd wake
The next morn'. I remembered your promise
To meet me. I prepared my woken self,
As I would for the sweet oncoming bliss
That I anticipated would occur
For our rendezvous. In my ritual,
I did myself anoint in the two oils
Of the flowers you claim. Habitual,
Was this one routine of establishment,
For the days when The Veil was thinner
Than usual. I'm as imaculate
As the world allows, though but for inner
Insecurities, for it mattered not
In your realm: where energy I'd become.
Ensabled, I lay in rose and jasmine;
And I was more than ready to succumb
To your offerings of what I knew not
Of.

Stephanie




Stephanie

My devoted one; you compromised
Yourself to be my ultimate dream,
Yet it weren't no sacrifice for you (As I said before.)
To act as bait; thought it might so seem
To the uninformed. What you offer
Is a trade for what you've e'er wanted,
And I'll admit I want the same. Though
Past efforts failed, you're still undaunted
In your attempts to so seduce me
Into doing what I cannot do.
I cannot rush your evolution,
Or slay the old to bring the new
To us before it's time. Yet tonight;
Your dreams, I will guide. I shall now give
You what has always been denied you.
I think you deserve, while you still live;
The fascination you are worthy of,
As the nights concede to the days.

Combined Effort Of Donn and Thanatos

*****

To The Only Ones That Matter

Will I remember holding you close,
And you looking up at me like none
I have ever allowed. When I wake,
Will I remember what you have done
To overlap our two worlds, and styles?
Will I remember your precious touch
That could not be met in mortal realms,
Or will I lose all in life's dread clutch,
As waking consciousness does return?
Will I recall your divinity,
And the unearthly love you gave me,
Along with the great serenity
That I cannot know without you?

Stephanie


The Vision In The Storm

On the edge of the cliff; impervious
To the cold, you are. Sheet lightning flashes,
And the rain hasn't started yet. The wind
Blows high, as thunder clashes,

And you look at me with a neon glare,
As your stallion rears in regal stance.
Gatekeeper, demonic looking angel;
Your incredible beauty's beyond chance.

Like snow in the night, is your wan colour,
Decorated in silver, sheer black silk,
And you wear a fighter's gauntlet despite
Being one of peace. I treasured your ilk

Since the day I've discovered your kind. I thank you
For acknowledging a lowly mortal
Like me, when you were still a dream in life.
I thank you for providing the portal

To the ultimate delights in existence.
Now, I think I have a painting to do.

Stef

The High Priestess Of Azrael

The dark haired wraith, as pale as the moon;
Now walks in the garden of the dead
Amongst the tombstones and obelisks,
Where the coldest passions can be fed

By the night. What poems will she write
To Him; her angel, and her consort?
Or will she paint His nameless facade;
Inspired now, in His misty Court?

Is she here hence, for a rendezvous
With the escort of the souls gone by?
Will any ever see her again
After this eve'? With a shallow sigh,

I turn to the cemetery gate,
And contemplate if I should enter.
Would my being there, disturb the two;
As I seek my own soul to centre,

With my two Gods of Death?
I walked away. . .
For now.


Stephanie

Life

My existence seems to go in tiers,
Levels, strata, and countless patterns.
The stairs; they go up, the stairs go down;
Be I in the country, or the town.
Sometimes it seems I nigh touch the sky,
To fall into the deepest abyss
A day later. The capriciousness
Is enough to drive me from great bliss
To the utmost bottom of despair.
It's not what I call Utopia,
And I really can't see life's appeal
For so many. It's hardly a deal
To call cost effective for balance,
When it comes to the vile ratio
Of pleasure and pain. Pain will e'er win
In duration, it seems. It has been

A nightmare for me, and would have been even worse
If I didn't remember you.

Stephanie

*****

Amorte

What is it to gaze upon beauty
So great, you almost doubt it exists?
What is it to stroke a skin so fine,
That is seems you're touching satin mists?
What's it to see a Gatekeeper's soul,
And for a time; to make it your own?
Dare I ask why my fate 'came so fine,
When the seeds of destiny were sown?
We lie in embrace, and in embrace.
Where once there were two, now become one,
As our forms to fade and overlap,
In a mystical electric run.
My sense of sep'rateness vanishes
As I hence become his memories.
I lose myself in the utmost love,
Which destroyed all past hostilities
Which I've never managed to conquer
In my life, which only but fed them.
After this, can there be any more
To strive for? Can anything still stem

From me, after the ultimate experience
Of knowing the love of Death?

Stephanie

Unanswered Yearnings Still At Large

I look into the night again
To the horizon of The West.
My time's so empty as I wait
For your dear company to sate
The most devastating longings
I've felt since I've discovered you.
Yearnings for knowledge, and of peace;
A want of beauty that won't cease.
A lust for the power to say
That I need no one or nothing,
And I can disavow it all
To enter the seductive hall
Of complete self-containment;
Though I'll still want you (two).

Stephanie

Chill Out, Dude!

How can one who's as withdrawn as you
Be so passionately vehement
About so much that concerns you not?
The world's problems are no more your lot.
You're still alive for a little while more,
But you know we're always with you now
To guide you along your final track,
So you won't ever have to turn back
E'en on your side of the thinning Veil.
'Tis best you focus just on yourself,
And dismiss the worldly ignorance.
To-day it's time to exist for whence
You are to come to us.

Rest in peace, in your knowledge.

Thanatos and Donn

Oh Wow! World War III With Man And With Nature!

I stand on top of the world, on ice.
It is night. Darkness is absolute,
For the stars can no longer be seen.
In rhapsody, I stand resolute
To see the end of what I've hated
Since I've attained The True Awareness
Of all that is. Let them now suffer
In their stupid illusions. Finesse
Is not mine as I gloat over this
Chaos and destruction of the past
That should never have existed.
From its beginnings, it could not last;
This evil, predatory cycle
That ravaged all of those innocent
Of its vile grip. Now it is dying,
And I smile as I see what is meant

To be, finally happen
As I'm warmed under the cloak of Thanatos.

Stefan

In Defiance, I Walk Away

I observe another tragedy.
I just watch, and don't think I much care.
All I see, is there's more room to-day.
A few less obstructions in my way.

I must admit, these obstructions are
Now really where I would rather be.
They are free of this prison, called life.
They are free of its woes and its strife.

Yet while I'm still doing my sentence,
I'd prefer fewer of them around.
I prefer my prison more peaceful,
Since I am barred; to answer Death's pull.

Yes, if I must be forced to live,
I shall let all others die.
A non-interference policy, I call it.

Stephanie

Interplaner Perspective (From Long Ago)

Though you can't see me, I am beside you,
And you know it. Your dear thoughts caress me,
Though they are alien to my being.
We are so diff'rent, and your phantasy
Of our future cannot be, for my place
Is not like what is familiar to you.
Still, you won't at all be disappointed;
For I hold in me, your memory's queue.
One time you tried to take my counterpart,
And he told you, "No. My way is better."
It took you no time at all to concur
To his opinion, and mine. A fetter
Indeed, are the base techniques of your kind.
I won't yet share with you, what's in our keep
For the future. Some things should stay unknown,
On your side of The Veil. They're way too steep

For you to absorb without destroying you.

Thanatos.


Beltane Comes Again

Just swing your partner, do-sa-do.
Around, and 'round, and round we go.
The music's old, the music's new.
We're one in mind, we need no cue.
Cross culture dance, cross culture dream.
Tuatha circle with three to seem
Enough.
Never so much fun or pleasure.
Ancient music; such a treasure.
Dance in the dark, o'er the fire.
Dance all night, and never tire.
I dance with Death, forever more;
In ecstasy, beyond all lore;
Not rough.
When morn' does come, the music stops,
Although the fun; it never stops.
With my two lads, I share some stew;
Of Greek and Irish overview.
Stay Thanatos and Donn with me,
To share my dreams, and ever be
So tough

As to keep up with me.

Stephanie

The Day After

Reality competes with dreams,
The night the celebrations end;
With the creature who joined us when
The fates declared that they would send
Us past imagination's bend.

Shape shifter unidentified
To itself. What is 'it' to-day?
Dancer, warrior, lad or lass?
Creator's or Destroyer's way?
It always keeps us too at bay.

Lover, or a sparring partner
In left field's realm of intellect;
Where nothing's sacred, nothing's dear
'Nough for this one to not dissect
In most barbaric ways, elect.

As cold as ice; its humour lie,
But we; the escorts of the dead,
Really have no right to complain.
It spoils us rotten, as we've said,
And is a hurricane in –censored-

HEY!!!!!!!!!!

Thanatos and Donn

See You Forever, In Forever. . .Twit

You look at the calendar one more time.
You then count hours, minutes, and seconds.
Have I ever seen on e more obsessed than you?
One so unwilling to give time, its due?

You know we exist in eternity.
You know that a life is nothing, in that,
Yet you bitch like there is no to-morrow,
And never shall come end to your sorrow

Over missing us. I wish you'd shut up,
For even in time, there's so little left.
You're a senior in the college of life,
And you'll soon graduate all of the strife.

You have only one more lesson to learn.
What it is, of course; I cannot you, tell;
But learn it you will, I swear this is true.
I'm now sorely tempted to say to you,

"If you keep this up, I just might materialise
For the sole sake of throwing a cold pail of
Water over you."

Thanatos

The Eternal Bond, Unbreakable

You ride for combat, and Your love for show.
You dance with a sword, and the other; no,
Yet You're both so alike in skill, and rite.
One mirrors the other's colour in white.
Gatekeeper Irish, and Gatekeeper Greek;
Bound in eternity, in a mystique
Of love that will never bear a rival;
Even in lost name, needing revival
After one destroyed His identity,
And entered obscurity
For a little while, because He couldn't exist
Without the other.

Stefan

The Longest Day Of The Year

Oh, Summer Solstice!
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you.
You miserable night-stealer,
And bringer of the heat.
Go nuke yourself
Into oblivion.

Stephanie



Another Moment Of Death In Life

I sit her now in absolute peace,
And I wonder again; do we live
Only to not take Death for granted?
For the answer, what would I not give?
I look at the candles beside me,
As I have another sip of tea.
The sweet incense sifts through my nostrils,
(You would put something like that here.)
(Shut up, and go away. You're interrupting the flow.)
And I'm content for now, being free
To think of nothing but this moment,
As I bask in the glorious night.
I wonder if You're with me, unseen
By mine eyes. (Rhetorical question.) Ev'rything feels so right,
(Quit messing up my poem, dammit!)
And I wouldn't put it past you to
Pull something like that, if but to watch
The progress of this poem. (Which I like.) I sigh,
Happy to know that I am a notch
Closer to You,
And soon, what is now, shall be forever.

Stephanie

To You: Who Spurns All In Your Realm

You are now where you wanted to be
A long time ago, despite warning;
Yet you were never one to listen
To the advice of others. Glisten

Most would; in the glories of your life,
But as you reflect, you say just, "Poo!
So what? It's been nothing but a waste."
In ways, it's what I like about you.
It's not that you don't have an ego.
It's a question of priority.
You see life for what it really is,
But you're hardly an authority
Of the hows and whys of existence
In all its forms. All you care about
Is us, and knowledge in its final
Extreme of omniscience. You flout
This ambition to everyone;
Considering it a noble goal
Way above materialism,
But I think NOT! You want as a whole,
All knowledge, which is omnipotence
Which is self-containment, which becomes
An excuse to irrefutably
Wallow in contempt, as you succumbs

Perpetually to repeatedly telling all
To "Fuck off and live forever," at worst,
Or, "Neener-neener" at best.

Thanatos

A Tantric Affair

My servant, my master, my protégé,
My teacher, my priestess, my revered one,
My dominator, my submitter, when
You choose. You're the one who's managed to pen
Me into an awareness, ere unknown
To me; pushing me into a wild quest
Of seeking all knowledge for ev'ry sake,
And seeking out new limits just to break.
You have taught me things that are so arcane.
You've opened doors that I myself have closed.
You have guided me to the ancient ways
Of eras past even my older days.
Your focus on me can be a nuisance,
Though I'm not really sure I should object
As you drive me to what I cannot bear;
That ecstatic extreme I barely dare. . .

Of you pushing my entirety into a spasm.
Now where the hell did you learn that?

Thanatos

Another Rehash After Another. . .Oh, Never Mind

I see nothing in absolute darkness,
But the two red orbs of light of The One
Whose eyes of neon fire never dim.
In the black, I reach forward to the rim
Of where reality and phantasy
'Come one, as He intertwines His fingers
With mine. I go by feel, He goes by sight;
As our embrace, within me does incite
Ancient longings I could not remember
Even existed. The sweet paradox
Of detachment and rapture unified,
As we meld into things in life untried;
For they could not in life exist at all.
Surrender is mine, surrender's the call,
As we both lose ourselves in each other.
I never again want to see another,
But You and your Irish counterpart;
My dearest Thanatos

Stephanie

To My Once Mortal Love (Kinda A Rewrite, Too)

You, who were seduced by my station!
You, who wrongly fell in love with me
Due to mistaken identity!

You seduced me with your promises,
And unconditional endeavours
To serve us both in your forevers,

After you've gotten us sorted out.
'Do with me as you will', you have said;
Though your motive was to get ahead.

You desired that we rebuild you
To perfection so you could later
Work with us as our equal. Cater

To your wish, we did; and you
Became the best you had to offer,
For us;

Artist of no flaw, in so many expressions.

Thanatos

Ooh! Nice Make-Up Job

Black on white in tiger stripes,
Exotic; beyond all types.
Eyes of fire, fangs quite sharp.
Your voice soothes me like a harp
Well played.

Graceful, past all cats I've seen.
You're not a cat, but as keen.
Beauty, power, oh so right.
Dance forever through the night,
Delayed.

You glide like a cobra sways,
Moving like a flame in haze,
Where the fuel ne'er runs out.
Right now you totally route
Relayed

Experiences and tales
In print, for fact always fails
In what you don't. I'm beguiled.
You're e'en better than a child
Filet,

In all likelihood.

Stephanie

END OF SECTION 3 (If ever I compile this. Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiight. There will be more.)


The Coldest Dish

How you revel in your hatred
Of wrongs long gone since yesteryear.
You rage in hostile memories,
As from our wanted path, you veer.

You desire peace, but this ain't
The path to get it. Destruction's
Not the way to go, but hear me!
Direct, with no implications;

Let me remind you of what is.
You are with us, and they are not.
You share our art, and share our love.
You command our power and got

To experience what has been
Denied to all humanity.
Leave your past foes in ignorance,
And hold on to your sanity.

The great revenge of here that is,
Is exile from all you now know.
Leave them in their reality,
While you bask in perfection's glow.

Thanatos

END OF ‘ME and THANATOS’




‘THE CONVERSATION’ CONTINUES

Revisiting Tech Duinn In Dream Again (Past Perspective series)

What visions I had behind closed eyes,
Of the grandest house that ever was;
With a hedge labyrinth on a rooftop,
And tiers, and skywalks with which to hop
Over courtyards with gardens, and fountains,
And statuary that only dreams
Could hold in life. How quiet it was,
And the peace of your great abode does
Make me wish that I would never wake
Now; e'en though it is my destiny
After my life is over. There are
Fireplaces in the halls, and far
More architectural wonders than
Imaginable. Innovation
And beauty as this could only be
Designed by one as wond'rous as thee,
My Tuatha Prince.

Stephanie

Ode Tae a Spoiled Brat (Tae=To)

I can feel yer fire as it fades. (yer=your)
I can feel yer descent fro passion. (fro=from)
I see yer slaw withdrawal fro life, (slaw=slow)
As all tha' was gaes oot o' fashion (gaes=goes, oot=out)
Wi' ye, and is met wi' simmerin'
Resentment at the choices ye made
Tae come tae the conclusion ye will.
I wiss tha' ye kenned the price ye paid (wiss=wish)
Tae arrive at where ye are richt noo; (richt=right, noo=now)
Nae tae mention wha' lies before you,
Is statistically miniscule
In yer harsh warld, there are few (warld=world)
Wha hae lived as weel as ye, or had
(Wha=who, hae=have, weel=well)
The time an luxury tae ponder
An' create the wond'rous art ye hae,
As ye let yer restless mind wander
'Tween yer Heavens and Hells.

Donn

What Is Wrong With Me?

I've been here since the beginning of time,
Over and over, in so many lives.
With how much I hate it, I don't know why
I kept returning with each time I die.

I've made my decision, and I stand firm
That this is to be my last time around.
My loathing of here can get no greater.
Being here now, I feel like a traitor

To mineself. I don't know all the answers
Of why I'm here, on this side of The Veil;
Though I wonder if my stupidity
May have been triggered by great ennui.

Boredom can inspire the most idiotic moves.



Stefan



Memories Of Things Lost For A Time

I sit in darkness, still trapt in life,
And cursing ev'ry moment of it.
I'm reflecting of our time; the night
When I so badly did want to quit,
And run to you. The night you took me
Through your door, but only for a while.
The night that you let me grasp a glimpse
Of our future, and your outworld style
Of making me see reality
In ways hidden from what lives with me.
I still recall reaching out to you
For reasons that only we could see.
You shook your head, and you held me back,
And you said that your way was better.
'Twas a dream when you shared me your mind,
And you loos'ed me from the last fetter
I had placed upon myself
For choosing to live one more time.
Too bad the moment couldn't last
Forever.

Stephanie

*****

Now

In the cold, 'tween the heat,
'Twixt the satin black.
In the dark, the fires burn,
The scented flowers heavy in the air.
Time is gone, you are here;
My dream of lifetimes' past.
Can I make you forget I exist,
Though I hold you in mine arms?

Stephanie

Nineteen Seventy Seven, Revisited

Look at you now, and look at you then.
Can you see why I was drawn to you when
I found you in your great confusion?
When you strove to die for illusion?
It was quite a haggersnash you were.
There was no greater bitch, I concur;
Though it was not without reason.
For this fact, you were out of season
For me to put your nose; I mean your head, on my wall;
Though I speak in analogy's call.
You hated me when you first saw me,
But I knew you were my destiny.
It wasn't hard to win you over,
And soon we rode over the wild clover.
Your initial aversion to me
Turned to an attachment quite quickly.
Unfortunately, you had to go.
With life not done, it had to be so.
Yet soon you'll be with me, at my side.
For a little while more, you'll abide
Apart from me, but then you'll be mine,
And I'll be yours, and soon we'll define
A new reality, as you'll be my trophy nose; I mean, wi. . .
Ack!

Donn

Smooth Transition Ahead

I walk the final miles alone.
I'm barely aware of what surrounds me
As I trek to the other zone;
That all me life, I've been waiting to see.

I'm dressed in black, no turning back.
The road's empty as I approach The Gate,
To where I'll never again lack
What is innately mine. I'll reach my fate

With the greatest sense of relief.
I can feel the harsh sun is going down,
As I shed my life; the greatest thief
Of all I should have been. No more to drown

In ignorance and dependence.
I shall soon be completely free; for good,
As I reach my last transcendence,
And all shall again exist as it should

For me.

Stephanie

It's Really Better For You, This Way

My ever agitated complainer,
From whom I'll never hear the end of it;
If you knew what was in store, you'd shut up.
For the 'wretched' lives you've lived, you shall sit
At mine side, in a world of art, knowledge,
Beauty, and your ever beloved TRUTH.
Your marks in The Hall Of Records are rife,
And your work's appreciated, forsooth;
And I speak of what you have done in life
Over and over again. This is why
I've stayed with you through all eternity.
Your creative fire shall never die.
Your quest for enhancement drives you quite hard.
A much treasured trait that we both do share.
Anything less, I could not tolerate.
I beseech you now; however, be fair;

And for the umpteenth time, quit your bitchin'.
You're almost here,
And your bleedin' life has ne'er been sae (so) eith (easy).

Donn


*****

The Journey

I started with wide-eyed fascination,
Only to have it completely destroyed.
With the attitudes of humanity;
Resentment and hatred was fast deployed.
So many impinged on my sovereignty,
And proved to be very inconvenient.
It wore me down, and hostility reigned,
Since I could not forever be lenient
With the perpetual annoyances
Of life, along with its stupid natives.
My contempt and arrogance knew no bounds
As I disavowed the trash the day gives

Over and over again on my sojourn in life,
Which by now seems so pointless
As I await my rescue from my own recklessness
By Death.

Stephanie

Behind Closed Eyes Again

I lay back and dream of cold and fire.
Of satin's touch, and the two beside me,
Who have long welcomed me into their world.
The two who surpass the greatest beauty
In form, in soul, and in core of being.
The un-corruptible ones of the class
Who shred The Veil for those of us ready
To be freed from hells of life, and pass
Into the paradise of their own choosing.
For me, paradise is not location,
But the company of the Gods of Death
I so adore. What greater elation
Can I feel, but to be with those I've sought
The company of, all my life? The two
Who saved me from myself and gave me hope
And reasons to continue. The pair who
Existence would have had no meaning, without.

Stephanie

Speaking Of Rewrites. . .

My love of aeons now separated
By she (he/it) who has long claimed the both of us.
In our embrace she (he/it) is, and we in hers (his/its).
A peace with us, like none before; occurs.
I am completely lost in reverie. (For the umpteenth time.)
In the warmth of our prized intimacy
Of shared thought; I am them, and they are me.
Is this what they mean by a trinity?
Ages are gone, and the ages are lost.
What trials we did face to get to this point;
The height to absolute serenity.
Unconditional love that formerly
I could not have conceived. Us there as one,
As to lower density we do fade.
Past sensuality we have journeyed;
And as I am, I feel like I nigh made
It HOME.

Donn

The Wait Continues

I've been intrigued with what you are
For as long as I can recall.
I knew your kind, but not of you;
Until of me, you did rescue.
It took quite long to find your name,
And track down your identity.
In this, I snared your counterpart;
Also binding your old love's heart.
Mistakes were made, mistakes were done,
But as I draw closer to you,
It seems that ev'rything's all right.
The time will come, I'll see the light.
I find myself agitated
That I can only see you now
In alternate realities
Of dreams and meditation's keys.
You'll never knock upon my door
For tea and scones, or for a kiss (upon the nose.)
For now, I'll never hold you tight,
Or take you in familiar rite,

But I know my journey to you
Both, will end soon enough.

Stephanie

I Wonder

I'm still not there, but I'm getting closer.
My thoughts in the esoteric, advance,
And I wonder if Death's a state of mind
Where one has freed themself, and did unbind
Their state from all the illusions and lies
That be harboured on the plane of the Earth.
Is Death freedom from the high density
Hell's attachment that the propensity
Of so many people have? Though I be
Still trapped on this wretched plane, I'm awake;
And from the Earthly paradigms I've fled.
Can I call myself honourably dead,
Then?

Stephanie

Thinking Of Analogies Of Life

I sit another day, in a cesspool,
A vat of ev'ry species' stool.
The Dungeons of Bathory, the decay
Of millions of bodies in the heat of day,
In the tropics. I note the stench so vile,
Of blind ignorance, stupidity, while
I walk through this ever disgusting Hell
Of flawed paradigms, as I 'wait the bell
To toll for me. The wait of countless lives
Which about now, is giving me hives,
But I gotta finish what I started,
I've been told. Dammit!

Stephanie

To You Both As One, With Many A Borrowed Phrase

Beside me, I have a reality
That is almost beyond definition.
I have Death, life, eternity; in one.
I have next to me, a pre-transition
Dream. A gentle beauty so great, I've lost
All memories of what was and will be,
And am actually focused on NOW.
I rest my head on His shoulder, and He;
Uncompromising, unconditional,
Un-corruptible, un-needing, has still
Chosen to bide His being at my side,
And He has promised me that soon We will;
On grass, on ice, on stone or marble floor,
To dance the ancient dances for ever,
As We build a world so astounding; it
Will rival all that was ere, and sever
Itself from all ugliness that ever was.

Stephanie

When You Meet Me At The Crossroads Of Death

From there you were, to here you'll be.
I'll take you to the boat at dock,
Away from The Known Shepherd's flock;
To boundless knowledge, boundless lore,
At my library on the floor
Of Tech Duinn.

You'll feel the cold and rain with me,
Southwest of the dear mainland, green.
My isle, just at horizon's mean.
The ride be short, but rough in form,
For we'll be facing quite a storm
At Tech Duinn.

When the boat lands, I'll take you in
Down ancient corridor of stone,
Lit by torches, with us alone.
Our drench-ed rags we then can shed,
Before our paradise ahead,
In Tech Duinn;

Of fireplace and endless teas.
I'll keep you warm in the deep cold,
As time is lost, and all is told
To you, that you could never know
When you were alive. Farewell woe,
At Tech Duinn;

My love, soon out of time with me.

Donn Ui'Midir

The Things I Can't Fully Know Yet (Same poem, diff'rent words; for the umpteenth time.)

For ev'ry moment I have spent here,
My loathing of life has but increased.
Is that the point of my sojourn, here?
To seethe, when I am declared deceased,

O'er the fact that this Hell can exist,
And that I've spent so many lives here
To realise how brain-dead I was
To keep coming back, year after year?

So, is life but a drug addiction?
For, once it had an appeal for me?
Why would I be here, if it hadn't?
Oh, my apex of stupidity!

Just how much longer can I stand it;
The pain of being gone from you,
The ignorant paradigms of life;
Whilst I'm touched by Knowledge of Death few

Even dare comprehend just a little,
For if they knew your world. . .just a little,
Life would end for human kind.

Stephanie

*****

In The Prison Of Nod

Am I sentenced here for someone's mistake,
That had nothing to do with me? Am I
A captive of my own stupidity?
Pray tell me, when can I stop asking why
I must continue to exist in Hell
Without the two I've grown to love past all
Else that could exist. Why am I still trapped
Here, when my knowledge should set me free? Fall
I to my knees, as I beseech you now
To either rescue me from myself, or
The thoughtlessness of my thick ancestors
So driven by instinct; without thought for
Their opening the gates of agony.

Stephanie

For My Beloved Donn And Thanatos

Out of space, out of time; you have led me.
A new beauty, a new love; you have shown me.
For you; I've tasted a serenity
Unknown in the mortal realms. I could see
Hope again, whilst before you; there was none.
You're a sweet promise for when my trial's done
In this desp'rate zone that should be destroyed
For the disgusting folly we've deployed
In ravaging the innocent for greed,
And razing all that was good, for no need.

With you, I will disavow what I know now,
Including my past, and what I'm hence; I vow.

Stephanie

The End Of A Failed Experiment

I see fire and dark skies, and hear thunder
Not of nature. I see the twilight's come,
And I can't help but smile. It is now time.
Time to pay for the great decadence from
The start of this game in this so vile realm
Of the Physical Plane. The smoke afar
Rises, as another city falls to
Ruin. It will quite soon no longer mar
The Earth with her pollution and toxic
Ways. The slum collapses upon itself
As man too, does fall in stupidity
Aft' he's put Truth and Knowledge on the shelf
Of oblivion; but now it shall end.
The greed, exploitation and laziness
That caused suffering of the innocent,
And caused in the world, a dark haziness
That could only be escaped in Death,
Shall be no more.

Stephanie



Sanity And Fun At Odds

Through the garden, to the gate we go.
We're sopping wet, and extremely cold.
I'm running with my love, for his hold.

Out the gate, and down the path we race.
Over the moat, and through the courtyard;
We both run like hell with no regard

For rain or sleet or the puddles deep.
The time when we hit the castle's halls,
A Tuatha tune echoes off the walls,

And our run breaks into a wild dance.
Before we race to the fire, warm;
To ease our cold from the vicious storm,

Our clothes we shed, whilst still on the run.
'Fore fire, 'neath blanket; we'd soon sit
With waiting hot tea and cream a hit,

As our server and other love confides to us,
"You're both a couple of nut cases."

Stefan


Into The Vortex

Into the vortex, away it spins;
All that was, for humanity's sins.
Faster, faster, just burn, crash and burn.
One more nosedive, as the world does turn.
For me, it's like watching a movie.
I hate it all, and think it's groovy
To see this destruction here, first hand;
The death of a thing, past reprimand.
All that was good, has long been destroyed;
And the vilest ways, are now deployed.
Another species becomes extinct
In the next 10 seconds. How distinct
Can my revulsion at this become?
For wording here, I find myself dumb.
There's no language for me to express
The loathing I feel for the duress
That has come to what should be, and is not.

I revel to watch its torturous end.

Stephanie



I'm Free (A song)

I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
Never are things gonna be, like they used to be.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
No more chains or obligations, for the thing that I call me.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
I've walked the long and twisted road; no serendipity.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
At least I've found the truth out now, and it is entropy.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.

I've been alive too long.
I don't care anymore
For anything that's here.
Repulsed like not before;
All I can do is cringe
At the mess that I see.
Once in my stupid youth,
It captivated me;
But now

I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
Never are things gonna be, like they used to be.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
No more chains or obligations, for the thing that I call me.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
I've walked the long and twisted road; no serendipity.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
At least I've found the truth out now, and it is entropy.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.

I recall times past when
Attachment was my chain.
It took so long to see
There was nothing to gain.
Nothing has any worth
In life, when it ends.
Stuff became my prison,
As did the stupid trends;
But now

I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
Never are things gonna be, like they used to be.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
No more chains or obligations, for the thing that I call me.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
I've walked the long and twisted road; no serendipity.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
At least I've found the truth out now, and it is entropy.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.

I have become unbound,
And can do anything.
All fear is history,
As desires I fling
To oblivion's flame.
Good-bye, social shackles;
Contempt, you are beneath.
Death to past raised hackles,
For now

I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
Never are things gonna be, like they used to be.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
No more chains or obligations, for the thing that I call me.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
I've walked the long and twisted road; no serendipity.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
At least I've found the truth out now, and it is entropy.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.

Stephanie

Can We Say; One. . .More. . .Time. . .?

I watch the sundown, one more time,
And wait another day for you.
Though time runs out, it seems for e'er,
As I've said many times before.

I wish it weren't such a myst'ry;
My coming time of transition
Into your so wondrous world,
From the disgusting condition

Of the realm I occupy now.
All I do is count the hours;
To see your dear halls and gardens.
I wait to see Tech Duinn's flowers.

Glimpses I have already seen
Of your world, and what you offer.
Beauty without end shall be ours,
When my soul goes into your coffer.

Stephanie

What's Hell, I Mean; Life, To Me

Life is an endless sea to sail,
For those who have been through Death's door.
Life is a pointless wasteland, true;
A prison I've oft seen before.

In dream, I'm free for a while;
For what's a dream, but a trip home
To what is true reality?
Respite from forced illusion's roam.

They run in circles, best they can.
Stay on the treadmill, don't make waves.
Don't think too hard, and don't break through.
Stay in your unenlightened caves.

I'm glad that I don't think like you.
I've seen what you refuse to see;
So afeared in your comfort zone.
So stay in your jail; I'll be free

As I pledge my sole allegiance
To Death.

Stephanie



As If This Will Make A Difference

Into the tunnel, or out you go.
Left path, right path; ev'ry way but home.
You're looking for things, to you unknown,
And don't look beside you, as you roam.

In you defiance, you walk with me,
In my world and your world, truly free;
Yet will you stop complaining so much
Over your own chosen destiny,

That's really a breeze, compared to most.
Just remember, before you were here,
You begged for this against all advice,
And now you are stuck, but never fear.

It's a blink of an eye in eternity,
Where I'll claucht ye again, real suin.

Donn

Dusk (To you both)

It seems as if you're there, but you're not.
I smell jasmine, that is your flower,
And feel a warmth on this cold even'
That cannot be explained. Your power
I've experienced may a time.
You've saved me from myself, oft' enough;
And took me to highs beyond all dreams.
You've done well to smooth over the rough
In ways so subtle, all did but seem
A twist of fate. Now as the sun sets,
I'm prone to wonder when mine own dusk
Here, shall come. When the confining nets
Of life shall be rent, so I can know
All that has been forever my right,
And see again the divine beauty
Lost in living. I long for our night

After my own twilight, to regain us both
As we are meant to be.

Stephanie



Home At Last

I am now dancing in the fire,
For I have become one with the flame.
It burns me not, for I am like it;
Looking like I did, but not the same.

I no longer have a substance, true.
I can be anything, anywhere,
Anytime, out of time, limitless,
Creating all on a second's flair.

In Haven, am I; with my two loves,
Where all that is, is impeccable.
I've discarded the dung heap of life,
For this realm so irreproachable.

Such is Death.

Stephanie

Bangin' My Head Against The Wall, Over You (Past Perspective)

My devoted rebel, on your way
To me. Your journey's too slow for you,
And you know it could be much faster
If but only you could follow through
With the concept of self-discipline.
It's something you lost a while ago,
In your rage against all in your world.
For your sake, I feel what you can't know
In your present state. Your pain is mine,
And I find it rather hard to bear;
Perhaps hard enough to break the rules.
So, I may help you get out of there,

And into my realm a little faster;
But it won't be easy on either one of us.

Donn



Blood On The Moon

I look up at the pale orb, as it fades.
The shadow of mine home, turns it blood red.
The quiet of the night is undisturbed,
As I know all that is; will soon be dead.

The sky will be darker upon the dawn.
I can already smell the smoke to come.
With eyen closed, I see the lightning of man.
It is the time for self-correction's sum

Of the destroyer of The Mother's Land.
The Great Suicide will come to-morrow.
The nightmare I have known shall go away,
And I will not shed one tear of sorrow.

Rather I will rejoice
As I too, walk through The Gate Of Death.

Stephanie

The Early Twilight Of The Year

The dawn of the year arrives again.
I wonder if this will be my last?
My nightmare of the longer day starts,
And I pray that it goes by quite fast.

I know my sentence here is up soon,
But I was gi'en the span of a year
To wonder and contemplate my time
Left. The suspense just kills me, I fear.

No, not really; but I can't resist
A bit of sarcasm, in this case;
As I bitch about life, one more time;
Waiting for Death to finally grace

Me with parole.

Stephanie

Journeys And Destinations

I travel on and on, and I falter
In exhaustion. I have long since worn out,
And seek an end to my travels; for peace,
And the end of pain. I seek a release
From ignorance, illusion, delusion,
Turmoil, and pervasive stupidity
I face on ev'ry road. I seek refuge
From mine own bad decisions, and deluge
Of the repulsiveness mandatory
In the low density of existence
That we call life. I wish to walk away
From it all. I know better now, but stay
I must, for just a little while longer,
On this vile, decrepit sojourn in Hell;
Which holds no more pleasure for me, at all.
I wonder why it ever did? My fall
From grace, was my choice to be born to this.
Why I was so corrupted, eludes me
Now, for the days of mine olde attachments
Here left me, and I seek the refinements
Of Death, in what I have learned.

Stephanie

Terminus In Sight

I've followed this vile road a million times,
And I believe that I am almost Home.
How many lives have I travailed? No clue
Have I, yet despite my loathing; I roam
Further for reasons still unknown to me.
I trudge on in resentment, and much hate
Of my own stupidity. Can I see
My final destination ahead? Gate
Of Death, Gate of Truth, Gate of Paradise?
I think so, for the skies now turn quite dark
In tales of war and the mass destruction
Caused by my kind, whom I've long disowned. Hark
I the song of my final freedom, as
I at least know this is my final stay
In this self-imposed prison, known as life.
I thank The Gods, for I now see the way
To get out of Hell.

Stephanie

Mirror In The Sky

I look up, to see the sun twice;
A reflection mysterious,
For can a cloud be a mirror?
For this sight, I'm delirious.
It was incredibly divine,
And astounding beyond measure.
It was a metaphysical
Vision to forever treasure
For the rest of mine existence.
A moment in life to value;
A concept beyond belief.
In the nightmare of life, a few
Things happened for me to reflect
On in a favourable way.
They were quite far and few between,
And not worth living another day,
But hey!

Maybe it was a sign from the gods.
A sign from Death?
I'll find out when I get there.

Stephanie.

*****

Sometimes You Gotta Say It Again

Lava lamp, and candle light. Incense
Burns, of sandalwood. Fireside heat,
And tea at hand, as I meditate
On Peace and Death, in my comfy seat.

I reach out for my pen and paper.
Fire burns a poem in my head
As I turn a scrying eye to flame.
This moment's so good, I may be dead.

In silence, I hear the night bird sing.
I'm warm, and dreaming while yet awake.
I wonder, have I e'er felt this good
In life? I sit content for a take

On life outside of life, for a while.
An escape from woe, this night I spend.
I revel in the knowing all this
Will be eternal, when life does end.

Stephanie

The Wall Of Glass

A wall of glass too thick, can't be seen through;
So I chip away at it, to see Who
Is standing on the Otherside. I know
Who it is, and I know He waits. What woe;
This damn wall that I long ago did build.
In my youth, what foolishness was I filled
With? Why chose I to take a road so hard?
My brain must have at one time been of lard,
To choose turbulence, and exile the One
I love more than anything. Almost done

I am, paying the price of my stupidity;
For the wall is now cracking,
And I will soon again be in the arms of
Death.

Stephanie

Faery Fire Danse

There's a fire under cover in the
Pourin' rain.
I'm dancin' under lightnin', defyin'
Cold and fain
To be here until the storm ends, or the
Dawn does show.
This is a revelry that I thought I'd
Never know.
The music is so old, it has been long
forgotten;
Played only by the daughters and sons
Begotten
By the Sidhe.

Stefan

Peace At Last

You're just around the corner, I know.
The time of worries have been long gone;
Not that I e'er should have cared about
Anything. Distress was such a con.

There was nothing to be concerned o'er.
All that was and will be, is here now.
Time and circumstance are illusions
That are forever and never. How

I lost this knowledge, I can't recall;
But I found it again, 'cause of you'
Mine mentor, mine anchor, mine one love
Of eternity; who's shown anew

What I've forgotten and lost
On this side of The Veil.

Stephanie

If The Year Were A Day

The sun would still be rising. It grows hot,
Much too bright, and unbearable to me.
Give me the peace and cool calmness of night.
Give me serenity, for the day's fight
Leaves me weary. Give me the dusk, not dawn.
Give me closure. Give me end to travails.
Give me an end to the bloody battles
Of like that serve no purpose. They rattles
My cage each day I experience them.
Let the harsh sun disappear o'er the bend.
Let the hated summer fade, and please let
Me not see another. Let the sun set.
Give me winter, give me Death.

Stephanie

Nothing To Vest In, Nothing To Gain, Nothing To Lose

I question my lost memories,
But I will receive no answers.
Dear Gods, what was my past appeal
To Physical Life? How unreal

Can it be to have asked for this,
From a view of greater wisdom?
Was I once a great masochist?
What was wrong with me; can you list?

How many lives have I lived now?
Did I actually like it once?
I suppose when I was younger,
I had a compelling hunger

For adventure, experience,
And things that I can't remember.
Still, it all died so long ago.
I think that I've learned enough, so

Why am I still here?

Stephanie

Home At Last, I 'Tread'

I close mine eyen for a journey
Outside concrete reality.
I cross a vast desert landscape
Under a harsh sun that does drape
Much misery on all below.
In life, I would never here; go.
At desert's end, the mountains stand.
Much cooler then, good-bye to sand,
But how much farther to the sea,
And the isle I want to on, be?
Through the great passages I race.
The speed of thought is quite a pace,
To fly o'er landscape low and high;
To see visions money can't buy.
I come to the water at dusk.
It wasn't a journey too brusque.
Vi'let and red, the sky does glow.
I see the black ship, that I know,
On the horizon's edge. I wait.
Come, wind! My way! Don't hesitate!
Swiftly it anchors past the cove
To take me, and to end my rove.
In a light boat, He comes to me;
My Love, before my life is He;
And I give my life to Him,
For He is Death;
The One I longed for all my accurséd
Life.

Stephanie

Ego's Reflection

I lay back, and I see what I've done.
I have to smile. It's been more than most.
I know all I ever did was bitch,
Though me life was much a downhill coast.

I never knew hunger, or great cold,
And I always had what I needed.
My problems were all self-inflicted,
And rarely was one's advice heeded

When they told me how to avoid more.
I was stupid in so many ways,
But I had to learn all on my own;
Muddling on through my earthly daze.

I've accomplished much, but few do know,
As I now die in obscurity.
It suits me fine. It's what I want, for
At least I retain my privacy.

So many; if they were in my boots,
Would find an excuse to be quite proud;
But I see none of my life mattered,
Nor does anyone else's. The cloud

That's blinded me from Truth and Knowledge
Will soon be lifted, as I transcend
This stupid life that I asked for, once.
Thank The Gods I knew I would ascend

At a young age, or I never would
Have made it.

Stephanie

When The Last Page Is Read

An old journey, I start through parchment.
It's in leather; black, gilt in silver,
And locked in ebon leather cross straps.
A classic tale that fills the last gaps
Between Hell and Heaven, Life and Death.
A transduced classic, held in my care;
Whose words were written by mine own pen.
Words guided by Death; long ago, when
He claimed me for His own companion.
I take the key to the lock and clasp,
And re-read the words of the Great Sage
Who's freed me from life's dreadful cage
Again, and again. It's a foresight
To what I will experience when
I close this book up for the last time;
And the Earth shall see Our final rhyme.

Stephanie

Words For Nothing, And A Nose For Free
(With Apologies To Dire Staits)

Strange servants, I get in my line of work.
The devotees of iconoclasm
Who fit nowhere into the world at large.
Those ever wanting to bridge the chasm
Between life and death, to leave life behind.
They plead with me for things I cannot give,
And try to bribe me in so many ways,
To end the lives they've ere chosen to live.
I've one who understands, this cannot be;
Yet she still works unconditionally
Without a true vestment in the outcome,
As she writes of my tale, virtually
Blasting out the entire crazy plot
Of mine existence to the whole wide world.
I wonder if this is a favour
To me, as my life's details are unfurled
To a vast audience, be they good, bad,
Or indifferent. I guess it's all right.
It gives me an insight into what I am,
And drags me from obscurity to blight

The world, and the Akashic Library
With another book;
All in exchange for a nose-pet to owe.

Donn

The Last Dream

Smog, filth, electric light and traffic noise.
'Tard cases running on sheer delusion,
And doing nothing but get in the way.
Consumerism is what makes their day.
Toxic diets, fast cars, and fashion trends
Keep them running from their births to their graves,
But for them to re-incarnate once more
To follow he same addictions galore.
Their paradise is my greatest nightmare.
Give me my quiet darkness, and candles.
Give me your torches, and your cobbled halls.
Let me access your peace, and book filled walls.
Tell to me your dreams, in complete silence.
Let me be for only what's relevant.
Let me see your precious Etheric Gleam,
And let me awake form my final dream,
To your world, to never leave again.

Stephanie


Welcome Back

Restrain me, contain me, don't let me go.
Let the god of the West know now the East.
Let me know the alien dignity.
And the still, ever unmoving beauty
Of your embrace.

Let me know the trap I cannot escape,
My 'cousin' of ancient times, now returned.
You; the one destined to sit at my side.
You; who's attained, for what no one has vied.
So be the case.

Your dreams, I've led to show the meaning
Of love, and of hate, and of indiff'rence.
You have learned well, as you now finally
Have seen the ultimate reality,
And come to place

All things in existence in their right frame.
Now, we'll never lose each other again.
Hence envelope me as well as you can,
As we; after too many years, now fan
Our passion's race

Against everything, for the first time in forever.

Donn

A Somewhat Rewritten Reflection

Three in one, and one in three.
Are we a new trinity?
Individuality
All lost in our unity.

One in form, and one in mind.
Knowledge shared of common kind.
Rapture in our love aligned
Was not something I could find

In the lower realms, so vile.
Glad my past is in the file
Of history's great trash pile.
Yes, I left it in great style.

I ne'er played the stupid games
Of life in the banal frame
Of the majority. Name
Me one who is not to blame

For the mortal misery
Of the Physical Realm,
By having vestments in life,
And perpetuating the process.

Stefan

To Seek The Longest Night, And Hold It Forever

Night will meet the day halfway today,
Then hours of night will slowly slay
The sun. The light will start to fade out
As the year reaches for midnight. Route
The sun from my life, I beseech
Time, and let this place no longer leech
The best I have, for nothing but trash.
I've endeavoured too long for a rash
Of misadventures, disappointments,
Bad decisions, wasted allotments
In time, for nothing worth anything.
I now long for the end of the sting

Of life, of day, and wait for the longest
Night, so I can fade away with the sun.

Stephanie

Death At One, Ante Meridian

Yule is about a fortnight past.
As you wish, it will be your last.
The sleet cascades 'gainst your window,
And the icy wind does billow.
You sit aft' your last cup of tea,
Soon to quell your yearning for me.
You close your eyes to fade away,
Knowing well; you'll not see the day.
I choose now to sit beside you,
Though you'll not know 'til your time's due.
Aft' your last breath I'll take your hands,
And we'll fly o'er the desert sands
Of the future you'll escape;
After the Earth's grand final rape;

'Fore the 'Living Mother' gets revenge,
As you're in the loving arms of Death.

Donn

The Vacuous Voluntary Journey From Death To Life

All knowledge and wisdom is wiped clean,
And fractions of personality
Are scattered and disbanded to Hell
To learn the ways of stupidity,
Slavery to the self and others,
And gratuitous obligations
Needlessly self-imposed for reasons
That defy all sane explanations.
Why do we do it? Boredom? Ego?
Masochism? Why do we repeat
It so many times? I know better
Now. Why am I still alive? Defeat
Of the desire to re-incarnate
Is the greatest victory of all.

Stephanie

Phoenix I Am Become

Fire, fire, purifier.
Life's warmth, destroyer, paradox.
Graceful beauty, deadly you are;
Consuming it all, near and far.

Like a phoenix from the ash, I rise.
A new life. You destroyed the old.
You made me see transition's face,
Though it's not you who shall soon place

Me or mine to the Other World;
Where I will one day dance with you.
I shall embrace the ghost of flame:
My mystery of unknown name.

We will be one, though with no pain;
For I shall be much more like you
When free of what you can destroy,
In the realm where non can annoy

Me any more; for Death is bliss,
And bliss is Death.

Stephanie

*****

The Longest Mile

It's cauld (cold), there's ice, the brae (hill) is verra (very) steep.
Ah (I) noo (now) struggle oot (out) o' mah (my) ain (own) abyss
O' stupidity. The wind whips me hard.
Ah finally see the end o' a' (all) this.

A mile, a mile. Jist (Just) a mile tae (to) the dock.
The black ship with the dragon on its bow
Sha' (Shall) tak (take) me tae whit (what) is rightfully mine;
The end o' aw (all) limitations, Ah vow.

Efter (After) the final struggle o' mah life,
The ascent o' tha' ane (one) cauld day in Hell
Tha' tuik (took) forever; freedom I woods (would) ken.
The freedom tae ken a' (all), after the knell

O' the bell
Tha' tolled for me,
When I boarded the ebon ship; guided by thocht (thought),
Tha' tuik me tae Tech Duinn,
After mah longest mile.

Stephanie

At The End Of The Road

I walk down the long dirt road alone.
No trees in sight to the horizon
In all the directions that I look.
There's nothing to see, not e'en a brook

To allay my ever growing thirst;
Until the sun sets to half an orb
For me to view. What does stand ahead?
Will I come to it before I'm dead?

As I draw near, I see a great wall
Rise from the ground, with a metal gate.
The wall seems like my path, eternal;
Though I'll admit, much less infernal.

Finally there is an end in sight,
Though I still know not what it will be.
I'd like to run, but I'm too tired.
Though curious, I've not acquired

A surge of energy for wanting
To know. I trudge on for a wee while.
When I see someone sit by the gate,
Is when my step speeds to meet my fate.

A young looking lad, older than time
Stands to greet me, as the sky turns dark.
On a small table by him, is tea;
And for me, he holds up and old key

As he says, "After you refresh yourself,
Come with me to my world in Paradise."
I smile, and I nod; and I have me a sip,
And reborn I become to Death.

Stephanie

The Abyss Of The Eagle

I look down, and I see no end.
I look into the pit of black.
Are you my boon or bane to be?
What myst'ries do you hold for me?

You are the only way for me.
I cannot turn back anymore.
Now will I fall, or will I fly?
I'm prone to wonder, with a sigh.

Will I close my eyes for the leap,
Or face it more courageously?
Will I back for a running start,
Or will I step forward to part

With the old that I hate so much,
For the new I do not know?

Stephanie

*****

A Past Life Becomes The Future

I sit on a hill 'neath a laurel tree,
Longing for the day that I will be free
Of the self-imposed prison I am in.
I know too much, yet not enough to win
The elusive peace of mind that I seek;
Though I'm free of the attachments that reek
Of mortal stupidity, and the lust
To turn ev'rything beautiful to dust;
Plus the irrelevant and all that's base.
On this new Winter's day, I choose to chase
The dream I knew was mine from my birth.
A dream of long distant pasts; before mirth
Was slain by vile Rome, and all her children;
So repulsive. The dream of my guild, when
All was destroyed by idiots ruthless;
Who's brains and intelligence were toothless.
My life of before, buried in legend.
That ancient time I had to pretend
Never was.
But it was, and I remember it well
As I see a shade on a hilltop swell
Into a vision I can distinguish.
A horse and rider to raise my anguish.
In my memories, the horses were gods;
As was my Tuatha love. Curse the clods
That took my paradise away from me.
Can a hatred for Rome, any greater be?
The rider's in black, with hair golden-red
Half down his back; atop his pretty head,
On a golden stallion, who's mane and tail
Were of silver-white. They were on the trail
To me. He dismounted, and then he smiled.
I looked into his dark eyes, and became beguiled.
I knew him, when he extended his hand;
My ancient love of our old slaughtered land.
I stood up, he came into my embrace;
And I planted a kiss upon his face;
Just because
He came to take me back in time,
And to Tir na nOg, away from this slime.

Stephanie

*****

The Edge

I stand on the edge
Of the ultimate knowledge,
Of time,
Of infinity,
Of the precipice,
Of destruction,
Of reconsolidation,
Of eternity,
Of self,
Of Source,
Of nothing,
Of everything,
Of ego,
Of ego lost,
Of understanding,
Of stupidity,
Of denial,
Of refusal,
Of rebellion,
Of satiation,
And of emptiness.

When will I cross?

Stephanie

I Am Paradox

I am Eden-maker
I am Nightmare
I am rescue
I am destruction
I am knowledge seeker
I am self-contained
I am fragment
I am ONE
I am order
I am chaos
I love peace
I make war
I know so much
I know nothing
I am creator
I am demolition of dreams
I am staunch ally
I will hang you by the nose to dry
I am alone
I am chained and bound to two sides of trinity
I am an open book
I am unknowable
For I know not myself
Yet

Stefan

*****



The House Of Death

Immaculate, beautiful, and peaceful.
It has all archives of future and past.
It's covered in vines, and hidden by trees.
It's lit by the torches of everlast.
Nothing changes, but by the will of Donn;
From the silence, to His perfect garden.
A blessing and curse, to see it and live.
After it, my heart to life did harden.
How could one love life after they've seen Death?
From perfection to a pile of midden
Was the journey I made from there to here.
Some secrets of Death no longer hidden
To my knowledge about drive me insane.
Insatiable is my dear yearning
For Him and His World, aft' life has shown me
What pointless misery it is. Burning
Is my desire to go back to Him;
My angel and sanctuary from woe.
Hopelessly seduced, I have been by Death.
Yes, the ageless one has my heart in tow.

The next time I meet him, I won't let go.

Stephanie

The Journey Home

I now trudge through my last Earthly days,
Quite eager to leave all behind.
The ineptitude of this here realm
Can make the 'brighter bulbs' lose their mind.

When I'm through here, I will be with you.
We have a Universe to explore.
We can learn all there is to know.
A future less, I quite much deplore.

After your realm, there's more to learn
On our journey back home to The Source.
What other goal exits that's worthwhile,
But to regain what was lost in course

Of The Deity gone insane?

Stephanie

Regrets On Choosing Reincarnation

Here I started, and there I'll end;
But where's the end? I spend searching
For reasons and answers to why
I seem to be forever lurching
In what is the illusory
Reality people do crave
So much. The hell of mundane life.
A vile, disgusting road to pave
Through predation and needless pain.
I can't believe I chose this path.
How could I have been so stupid?
Toward myself is my greatest wrath

For choosing the Trail Of Suffering,
And missing you.

Stephanie

Sundown

My final Solstice has come and gone.
The sun's reached zenith for one last time
For me. The longest day is now yore,
And I wonder; is this the last rhyme
I shall write in this great Hell of Life?
You said you'd meet me if I want you.
Well, I want you; and there is no doubt.
The only thing I can think to rue
Is that I spurned you when you met me
In effort to set my wild mind straight
That day so long ago, ere I knew
What mattered and what didn't. I hate
What I was back then,
And I've longed for you ever since.

Stephanie

END OF SECTION


Rhymes For The Times


Aimless And Confused

Running in circles, round and round;
Never knowing what's lost and found.
Turmoil, confusion; life is so.
Too many paths and trails to go.
Ups and downs, a roller coaster.
O' the prized Akashic Knowledge,
And all things not taught in college.
I'm in a sea of ignorance
Where all that happens is but chance.
Truth is denied, illusion rules.
I am in an abyss of fools.
I know I'm bound, yet fight to see,
What is beyond infinity;
Yet I know it ain't gonna happen
Until I'm dead.

Stephanie

The Key Is Mine

I hold the key to death and dreams.
I have found it to be the same.
Death is not death, but life beyond,
And 'dream' is but another name

For a visit to the dear realm
That's the future to all we know.
A realm so wrongly held in dread.
A realm filled with beauty and so

Limitless in realities.
Infinite possibilities
Exist after this world of Hell,
And the boundless abilities

Can bring us back to the closed gates
Of Eden; to throw them open
Once again, and then go beyond
What is; and revive the hope when

All seems impossible.

Stephanie

Under Geis Of Death

I am not mine own.
I must serve.
I cannot lie.
I must unify.
I cannot rend the universe.
I am sworn to service.
To honour I must be true,
If I want to be with you.
My life belongs to Source.
My existence belongs to Source.
This I must accept
To become adept
In ALL
Whilst still retaining
My self.

Stephanie

Freedom From Myself In Death

No more guts, and no more bladders;
No more falling from tall ladders.
No more stomach, and no more zits;
No more hunger, or scarred up pits.
No more lungs, or need for foul air;
No need for worry, or a care.
No more livers, and no more runs;
No more concern for too fat buns.
Good-bye, projectile vomiting,
Or the obnoxious commenting
On flaws we have ourselves chosen
When our common sense was frozen,
The day we chose the prison life;
By asking for great mortal strife.
A self-imposed chain's what life is.
To see this doesn't take a wiz.
Do most like slavery to self,
And self-containment on a shelf?
Sure seems like it.

Stephanie

Essence Of Flame

I watch you on the darkest night.
Sensuous swirls, destruction bright.
Such grace in you, fire and smoke,
I will your spirit, soon invoke.
On the altar, I fed you well,
And I call upon you to quell
Hypnotic wants, you inspire,
My dearest ritual fire.
I took Death's hand, and led Him here,
In this realm where you cannot sear
The flesh that touches you tonight.
Instead, you shall caress us right,
As We become Trinity.

Stef

What Trail And Trial Will Be Mine?

I stand at the crossroads of Heaven and Hell.
One path is to serve you, one day at your side,
And the other leads to a trail of despair.
I know what path I want, but let us be fair.
The choice is predestined, and not mine to make.
What happens was guided by your will alone.
Am I now worthy to be one day, your peer?
Will you come to me to ease my gnawing fear,
And give me the power to do what I must?
Let me ease the passage to those you hold dear.
Let me pave the great road for those we both love,
To the one place where the hawk flies with the dove;
As I surrender my will to you, Death.

Stephanie

The E’en I Took The Hands Of The Gatekeepers

The May Pole's up for Samhain Day.
We'll feast, and dance the night away.
The celebration's wrong, I know.
Since when by the rules, did we go?
The fires burn, the mead runs free.
I'm with you both, eternally.
All my life, I've 'waited this night.
Alive for hope, and dead for spite.
Never I've known such ecstasy,
Or heard such perfect melody
As the music played on this eve
That the old Tuatha did conceive.
There's butter, cream, and bread still warm.
There's tay and wine beyond the norm.
There's lads and lassies I've ne'er seen,
From the world of The Fey's last Queen.
The gala's on, outside of time,
Where bells neither do toll nor chime.
The fun will never end from here,
In this realm that the living fear.

Stephanie

*****

The Witch In The Garden

Hemlock lace, and aconite blue.
Thornapple dreams, and nightshade's coup.
On grass so thick with buttercups,
I recline with two pewter cups.
A wind for dreams, a wine for Death.
So cold, so warm, as stills my breath.
The moon is full, the stars are out.
I need no broom, for visions flout
A reality substantial
That is hardly circumstantial.
My hair is stroked, my skyclad form
Is covered with a flaming storm
Of eternal longings sated
Not, as Death cannot be baited;
I have found again this Samhain,
But at least I find I'm now in
His realm with no looking back.

Stephanie

Concede To Me The Night Of Death

Cloth of satin, cloth of velvet,
Shed feather of an ostrich tail.
Lay by the fire, in the dark,
For a touch like a breeze to sail.

The years apart so long are gone
From my blanketed perspective.
You could see me, but me not you,
Yet my mind was quite receptive.

I knew you never left my side,
Yet I could not but hold you in dream.
The memories haunted my days
To rip my soul up by the seam.

That time is over out of time,
As you sit down before me now.
Please let me try to pay you back
In the only way I know how,

For the devotion that you've shown
To me.

Stephanie

Mindshare With A Gate Keeper

As we touched fingertips, I felt
What your thoughts always were toward me.
Love I didn't know existed,
Then clear as day for me to see.
There was never reason for it.
We just met, and you clicked; I guess.
Now were you sent, or did you choose
To rescue me from my own mess?
You held me, and I held you back.
It was a moment out of time
That I could not ever forget,
And nothing in my life could climb
To the rapture that you gave me then.
There's no drug to make me that high,
As the day that you took me on.
It's gone, but I need never cry.

You'll be there when I say good-bye
To life.

Stephanie

Another Ode To The Garden

Manicured perfection, topiary dream.
Trellised gazebos, with the flowers' perfume.
Cobbled paths, fountains many, beauty like none
From where I'm from. Such is the garden of Donn.

There are torches of all colours here. Fire
Fed from out of time. There's trees in fruit and bloom,
With leaves untainted by any spot of brown.
There is nothing like this of any old town

In the world I have left, and will never miss.
Streams under wee bridges run. Heaven at night
In fog I have seen here. There's nothing like this
Place to take me now to the ultimate bliss.

Stephanie

Lettuce

Face to face, and mind to mind.
I'm in your embrace to find
What I thought not possible,
Quite beyond enjoyable.

I hold you close as I can.
I'm frozen, as was the plan;
But you're breaking all the rules
With new uses for old tools,

As goes my analogy.
I head for an apogee,
Before quite unknown to me.
The Hell with polarity.

Stefan.

*****

Lettuce? You called this thing LETTUCE?

Donn

*****

Well, what sort of discreet thing would you have called it?

Stefan

*****

I wouldn't have WRITTEN it, and I swear! If I was anyone else I'd probably slap ya upside with a rolled up newspaper.

Donn

*****

Excuse, me, but I would NOT have slapped him upside with the newspaper, though maybe I'd want to change places with him.

Thanatos








I Disavow You Idiots

I am all that they are not.
I'd like to keep it that way.
I find I'm all I have got.
Nothing matters in their sway.

Why should I be as stupid
As vanity deified?
Why should I be so vapid?
They're conceit personified?

Let them carry on their path,
Their inane vestment in life.
Let them face the violent wrath
Of inconsequential strife,

As I pursue the promises of Death.

Stephanie




Think Not Of Me In Analogy

Compare me to none, for I am myself.
I wear black, not white. I am transition.
I am no pretender. Like mortals born,
I am but of mortal disposition.
I am sheer power, yet still very frail.
In limited knowledge, I've made mistakes.
I try to make sure all works as it should,
And I haven't done too many retakes
For a man living so long out of time.
Take me as I am. No other's like me,
And I am not like any others, lass.
Stop your projections, for reality

Is not always conjured by your mind,
And remember who and what you are; as well.

Finally, forgive us both for our errors.

Donn

The Final Dissolution Of Hell

I hear the shot, and see the smoke
Of fires burning far away.
In hand with you, I don't much care
If the world sees another day.

The era ends, the flames rise high,
And those come with us; that we choose.
I pick the creatures innocent
To come with me, and never lose

The state of bliss unknown to them
In this vile world, now burning up.
Great cat, or wolf, or hawk, or prey;
Never again an empty cup

Will they see if they come with me
To our realm of peace and plenty,
Where pain's unknown, and want is gone.
The place with no need of sentry,

On your side of The Gate;
Where all minds are One again.

Stephanie

To Hold The Key To The Western Gate

You led me to the crossroads one night,
And you asked whether I wanted you.
I said yes, and you gave me your key.
You walked away, beholden of me.

Because of this key, you're all that's left.
I have no further use of what was.
All else is a liability.
From what is in the world, I am free.

You made a promise that shall be kept
Of knowledge and power great,
That shall last into eternity;
Due to my revulsion of what be

In the here and now,
Which you share; and how
No mortal bane shall vow
It wrong to allow

For the change that you have pledged to me,
For Utopia, peace, and bliss upon
My surrender to you, which you shall have.

Stephanie

The Wait For Death, This Samhain Eve

The nights grow long, and the year grows short,
Yet I still wait for you to abort
My misery of missing you.
It's been too long since you've bid adieu
To me for the mistake I regret.
The mistake that did nought but beget
Sorrow and pain. I know that you wait
To take me again to your fine Gate
Where knowledge in Truth, and peace abound;
Where all I've been looking for is found.
I think I've atoned for spurning you
When we first met. I think I'm now due
Another chance to prove what you saw
When you first came to me! That I'll draw
Any and all circumstance to shreds,
And will challenge the greatest of dreads
To prove you, my loyalty too late.
I have hence myself to much berate
For having been caught in time again,
And all the illusions I now ken

Are but a trap called life,
And it will not be repeated.

Stephanie

The Eternal Ally

You made a promise, long ago.
The day went by, and nothing changed.
I called you out in fury great,
Feeling betrayed, and full of hate.
You shrugged, and told me just to wait.
I couldn't then handle the truth,
You said. I still had much to do
With my world, and all that I knew.

I saw what you meant, soon enough.
My anger turned to gratitude.
There'd be no more promises razed,
Nor incidents to keep me fazed.
You never really let me down,
You were always guarding my back,
And making sure that when my lease
On life was due, in one piece

I would be, when you came for me.

Stephanie






(To a friend not part of the ‘family’. . .yet?)

Did I Do Something Wrong?

Will we be on the 'cue or spit?
Will we be in one piece, or split?
Will we be spiced, butter basted,
Or on rum and brandy, wasted?
Will we be well marinaded
Before we two are paraded
Under cover to the table
On a wheeled tray, nice and stable?
Keep detouring my rhymes like this
With your ideas of kitchen bliss,
You'll never get a nose-pet here,
Or a sweet snorfle in your ear.

Thanatos

Sorry, I Can’t Resist

There once was a lass with meat on a bun.
It was nicely cooked, and second to none;
With mushrooms and mustard,
And trimmings quite flustered,
Since the rest of the meal was still undone.

Stef



My Sweet Prison Of My Own Design

I bow my head, and have to smile.
I review what you've given me.
I now have complete sovereignty.
In theory from e'en you, I'm free.

In theory, but we know better.
You gave me what you did because
You knew I'd never go away.
Through eternity I will stay

With you, for there's nothing better
In knowledge, style, or else that is.
Artist, engineer, landscaper,
Writer, poet, future shaper

Of my ultimate destiny;
You'll make me the best I can be,
With your skills and cognition shared;
Due to the fact that I have dared

To run to your world, unknown to me.

Stephanie

Let's Keep Our Victories To Ourselves

Discretion's the better part of valour.
Now, ostentation may bring a pallor
To your life that's really better not there.
You must keep your temper if you dare
To keep me as your collaborator.
Let's you and me make sure there's a later
To enjoy for your ancient battles won.
Don't gloat too much, for you are not quite done.
When you are, you'll know; 'cause you'll be with me
In an exalted state. Your destiny

As we have willed, where all is art,
And art is all. . .for us!

Donn

Ruing The Past Again

I see you sit in contemplation.
You wonder what may have been that day
When you threw yourself into my realm,
If hatred hadn't got in the way.
Hatred not of me, but the concept
That I represented for my looks.
Close to the Nazi ideal I was,
Hence you curse your old biases' hooks.
Your irrationality's gone now,
For what image another presents.
You seethe, cursing your past programming,
And what history misrepresents
As written, and how you were twisted
In your way to reject ev'rything
That is held in esteem by the world.
That's not bad, when I check the briefing

Of what you've become;
Which is more like me.

Donn

*****

END OF ARCHIVES